To listen

I sit here today in reflection over the series of events in the last week. I was supposed to drive to Hayward on Thursday to participate in another Epona experience with Juli Lynch. All week I was questioning why I was going? Did I want to go? Thursday morning I felt great and was ready to go. I had a couple of horses to trim for my dearest friend Beth. After beginning to work with her horses I started to feel physically weak and exhausted. I usually trim Boude by myself with little problems but today she came in the barn and things got a little trying. I asked her to go back in the house and Boude and I finished with much more ease.

This caused reflection for Beth and I. Why did Boude behave like this? He understands how to pick up his hooves and hold them. He knows how to balance. Beth and I know how to work with horses, so what was the bigger picture? We came to an understanding that in order for this to work harmoniously, Beth and I must be on the same energetic wave length, so to speak. We need to help Boude understand that he can work with me just as well as when Beth is present. After a dream last night ( I will share in a moment), I have a different understanding of this experience. If Boude was doing well, why fight with it just to have the owner there? Why not just go with the flow and stop resisting? Beth and I also were able to have a clear picture of my role as practitioner and her role as owner and how we can best support a horse that is receiving hoof care.

After leaving her farm, I was torn between going to Hayward and staying home. I was packed and ready to go, so I went. I went with the understanding that if I wanted to turn around at any point I could. After I reached Madison, Juli called me. We spoke of my need to stay home. I immediately felt better when the decision to stay home was made. I figured I had drove this far (by now I was almost to Baraboo) I would stop at Devil's Lake.

At Devil's Lake I took a short walk, found a big boulder to sit on, and started journeling. It was a great experience and I had some interesting insights from a chipmunk. The little fellow stayed nearby the entire time I was there. I got lost in time and before I knew it I had been there an hour. I had been entranced by the forest and all her glory. As I left the park, I passed a prairie. As I looked out over the prairie I saw thousands of glittering, gliding Dragonflies. Blue, gold, purple, and red bodies flying and floating in silence over the prairie. I parked and followed a path down into the prairie. I was just enveloped in the beauty and silence of this magical experience. The path took me down into the prairie as the grasses were taller than I. There was nothing but me and Dragonflies in their silent dance. There are not enough words to describe how inspiring, beautiful and amazing this experience was.

Since arriving home I have felt emotionally unstable and very sensitive to energy shifts. I became aware of the upcoming affects of Hurricane Irene. My sister and her family are 20 min from the coast in North Carolina. I knew they had evacuated but I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of the panic and loss the people will feel on the East Coast. It was like I was feeling all the panic, worry, fear, and loss they were to feel. After speaking with my ever guiding light (you know who you are:) she helped me to realize that there is a lot of panic, worry, and loss already happening and that my feelings don't need to add to it. Instead to be a beacon of love, light, and thankfulness for a seemingly dark situation.

My perspective on this rapidly evolving world is one of love and light. I know that it appears the world is falling apart with war, terrorism, hurricanes, earthquakes, drought, and damaging floods but I feel we are 'falling' away from the energy that is not loving or supportive for the Earth any longer. My reflection on the current hurricane is this. I see wind being an active aspect air and it being the breath of life. It represents the Spirit and therefore is what holds us all together. As noted by Fernando Ortiz in El Huracan, a hurricane is a cosmic synergy as it contains three elements within it. The Fire as light-rays. The Air as wind and the Water as rain. These three together disturbs the Earth. This appears to me as a symbol of new growth and community.

Today I got up and felt immediately ill. I have been nauseous all day. I am hungry but food, even water makes me feel ill. I had all sorts of plans for today but instead I am staying home and taking care of my body. 

The dream I had: I was taking part in a clinic and we had walked the horses a fairly long distance away from the barn. I was working with a black spirited horse, reminded me of a thoroughbred. We were to mount the horses and ride back to the barn. As soon as I got on my horse, who had an english saddle, I immediately was scared of falling off. My horse picked up speed, I fought with him to stay at a walk, I began to lose my balance was falling to the right side. It was in a blink and I had decided to just go with the horse. I was able to pull my body back up onto the horse and we rode together all the way back. I grasped at his mane and allowed him to go forward at his choice of speed. I passed everyone who had been in the clinic. We came to a rode crossing and I was passing by another horse and rider. I looked back to see who it was and here was Juli's brightly shining and smiling face. I asked my horse to slow down for the road crossing. We waited for Juli and walked the rest of the way home.

I have reflected on this dream most of the day and want to share this. Sometimes when we try to control and force a situation instead of going with the flow we end up falling off the horse. We all need guides and teachers and they help us to go with the flow even if we are unsure of the end result. We need to listen to the messages we receive and follow them. I am sure glad I did. Had I have pushed through to Juli's I would not have had the experience at Devil's Lake, experienced panic and loss and then found light in the situation, and I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. I  know that the weekend at Juli's was wonderful and inspiring but there was not where I was supposed to be. I am thankful that I was able to honor my voice and do what felt right for me. I am ever thankful for the teachers, Earthly and Spiritual, that are supporting me in honoring myself and listening to the messages.

Animal Teachers

It is amazing and beautiful to me the messages that nature has for us if we only take the time to be present and hear them. I have so many birds and animals coming into my life right now. It is difficult not to hear the messages. Some messages are very obvious, while others take awhile to develop. There is no doubt about the connection that myself and everyone else shares with animals. I very much feel that animals come into our lives to support, love and nurture our Soul. They are more than just co-habitants and friends; they are our teachers, confidants, soul-mates, and support system. They accept and love us unconditionally, something we all could learn more about. I will share with you the animals coming into my life, the messages they have for me, and how they are supporting my journey.

Peacock-Wise Vision-Symbolism of Feet-Wisdom-Resurrection
  This bird is a reminder for me to 'see' the bigger picture and that I need to look inside myself for the answers I seek. The feet are our support system. They move us forward and connect us with the earth. I have felt the need to get back to nature and connect with the horse and the earth more.

Turkey- Shared Blessings-Harvest-Sacrifice-New Beginnings
  This bird is a reminder to me to share my gifts with others and to create and bring forth my new ideas. The turkey is also known as a Earth Eagle. It reminds me to look to the Earth and the tools it bears to help support me on my journey. It reminds me to be adaptable and to plant new seeds of growth. It reminds me to connect with my Third Eye for inner vision and femininity.

Sand Hill Crane-Longevity-Creation through Focus-Devotion-Intelligence-Inquisitiveness
  They remind me to keep my focus on the important things in my life. Not to let my emotions get the best of me. If I focus my intent I can create. Reminds me to protect and stand up for my beliefs and ideas. Reminds me that all the answers for my questions are within reach and sometimes I need to look within and other times I need to ask for help.

Polar Bear- Strength-Nurturing-Purity-Feminine-Strength in Adversity
  This animal reminds me to nurture my feminine side and find strength in the moment. I need to remember to let go and not worry in the moment and that all is working as it should.

Red-Tailed Hawk-Visionary Power- Guardianship
Their keen eyesight again reminds me to keep my own eyes open to the present moment. All I ever need is right now. They appear when my life is moving toward my soul purpose. Teaches me to fly to great heights but to keep grounded. They teach me to be observant and to 'spread my wings' with my creative energy.

Horse-Power-Freedom-Movement-Support-Courage
  The horse is one of my greatest teachers. They are with me all the time. They remind me to stay present on my journey. They teach me to forgive, let go of injustices, acceptance, and joyfulness. They teach that as much as we are individuals on our own spiritual path we are all connected on an even bigger spiritual path. That as I fulfill my Spirit I will better serve other people on their journey. I could go on and on about what horses teach us.

I have always known that animals are comforting to me. I seek their presence when I am upset, uncomfortable, or struggling in some way. They are always there gently supporting and encouraging me. I could recount all the times that animals have significantly impacted my life for the better but that would take days of writing. I will start writing today with writing about one experience that an animal as stepped forward to support me.

This is for Jynx. This beautiful long hair tabby cat came into my life as a sophomore in high school. She was with me for 5 years. The day she died was excruciating. I was sobbing hysterically. I was inconsolable. She was killed by a coyote and a neighbor found her lifeless body. I suddenly was aware, amidst my tears, that she didn't suffer. I had a vision that she had run as far as she could, and couldn't get up a tree fast enough. She was grabbed by the throat and shook. It was over. I knew that there was no pain or fear at the time of death. I saw her Spirit leave her body before she was killed. She showed me the grace with dying. She showed me that our Spirits are gifted with the ability to leave the body before there is pain and suffering. This experience has helped me be a part of so many transitions with animals. The question is always there, did they suffer? No, is genuinely always my answer. I have a greater peace about death and dying now. As I watch my rabbit, Jasper, starting leave this physical life, I know there is no pain or suffering- thanks to Jynx. She is forever loved and remembered for the gifts she gave to me. I have her permanently tattooed as a way to keep her close to me forever.

Appreciation

I will start with this-- Thank you to the many teachers that are coming forward in my life. Thank you Anke for breath and joy, thank you Juli for your open heart, thank you Epala herd for love and acceptance, thank you Beth for never ending love, support, and friendship. Thank you Gracie for your love, joy and grace. Thank you Shawn for your support and open mind. Thank you Jas for your humor and courage in this time of your transition. Thank you to all my animal friends that continue to light my path and support me as I grow.

I completed last week with a trip up to Hayward. It was there that I forged new relationships. It was there I discovered part of myself in a different light. The weekend left me feeling love, joy, groundedness, centeredness, and connection to life in a whole new way. I came away with such contentment about where I am in life. I can literally breathe better! I discovered through my breath how I can truly slow down. I didn't realize until this weekend what it really meant to slow down. Through this 'slow down' I feel better connection with the Earth,  myself, and with other beings.

I am so happy to say that Gracie (my Mom's cat) brought five little souls into this world this morning. Such a beautiful gift! There is so much love and joy present. Gracie showed me what it means to open my heart to love and joy. It is such a gift to be part of her little kittens life.

As with all things that come into this world they must leave at some point. As of Sunday morning we are in the final chapters of Jasper's life here with us. I don't know how much time is left. He is 14 years old and that is OLD by bunny standards. I would consider him to be in hospice care now. We have had our shares of laughs in the last 11 years. He has put every one of our dogs in their place, he supported Murphy when he only had three legs, and he ruled the house too. I want nothing more than for his soul to leave this world very much loved. After my weekend in Hayward I have much more clarity about life. I am able to find the love and beauty in this time of transition. There is no more fear about death. That fear will do nothing to support a beautiful part of life. I have chosen to support his transition with the crystals chiastolite and kyanite. These will help him find the light and have peace with the process. I have never had an animal transition on their own in my care. This is a new experience for me and with Gracie's kittens this completes the circle of life. I will keep you updated about his transition and any insights that come to light. For now he is very much loved and care for and that is all that matters.

 

 

Hilarious!

I am in the writing mode this week.

Today was one of those days where it seems like the world is throwing everything at you. I am laughing it all off because it truly is funny now. I need this laughter to feel better about not being in control. Control for me is a way that makes me feel like I am important, needed, and fulfilled. However, it is all false. I don't need to control anything. I can allow all to happen as it may. That is true fulfillment.

Let me recap the last 24 hours.

Yesterday, I was trimming horses for a friend and client. I was working on the left front hoof when I heard the owner begin to become concerned about a rather large horse fly buzzing around. The horse was unconcerned so I kept working. She proceeded to ask, "Can I borrow that?" while pointing at my rasp. I said sure but wasn't really aware of what she was planning. It suddenly came to me. I stood up and looked at the owner only to see her poised with my rasp like it was a baseball bat, ready to hit the fly once it landed. I quickly disarmed my friend and asked, "What are you thinking? You can't hit a fly that lands on a horse with my rasp!" We started laughing as she told me she was only going to tap the fly. Really? She looked like she was going to take a good ole swing at it. I told her to use her hand. She gasped and said "Ew no. I had to use my iPhone last time to kill one." I eventually killed the fly because I had gloves on. We had a good  laugh about this. I just hope she has her phone the next time a fly arrives to pester her horse!

Last night Shawn came home from the firehouse meeting with news from a friend that the house we are purchasing has the well too close to the sewer. I was full of questions but there were obviously no answers. It makes me really slow down and relax a little when my husband comes in to tell me something important but lacks details. Let me tell you about letting go! I love details, I need to know everything about the situation. Blah! Not this time. So this morning I called the realtor and found out that indeed the well was too close to the sewer. It must be moved. Still very little details at this point. A few hours later I find out that the town will pay for the well to be moved and seems unlikely that we will close on August 10th due to lack of running water or clean water tests results in the house. At this point I just started laughing. There is nothing else to do but just wait and see. Patience is a virtue and I am learning that one in a big way today.

To add to this, I went to meet with the lender this morning. While sitting at her desk another banker approached us and asked if that was my Prius in the parking lot. Of course it was. Well he said that my driver side tire is very low. Again, I started laughing. I think they were confused by this. Turns out the seal between my tire and wheel was bad and needed repair. Check. Good to go.

While at home, doing some computer work I found out that there had been an accident in Rochester (the town we are buying our home in). A cement truck had plowed into a home! I was momentarily shocked and feared the worst. I had a fleeting thought that it was the house we are looking to purchase that had been hit. It had obviously not been our house but the house involved was only a block away and on the same street. More laughter, as I realized that I went to worst case scenario and that is just not helpful in any situation. Note: Everyone involed in the accident is ok.

To add another strange thing for the day: I was driving about a mile from my home to get my tire fixed and I crested a hill to see a Great Blue Heron flying down the middle of the road. I slowed down and almost came to a stop and the Heron still almost flew into me. It barely made it over my car and then landed on the side of the road. Strange. I turned the car around, pulled over, took a picture (why not? I figured I wouldn't be this close to such a magnificent bird again), and got out. I got within 6 feet before it clumsily flew over me and awkwardly landed on a nearby rooftop. Now, there is nothing funny about this. I am concerned for the little fellow. The bird appeared to be unharmed physically but clearly was not well. I wished the little fellow the best on his journey after spending a moment or two contemplating what I could do to help. Symbolism: To stay on my unique path. Strength, purity, and patience. Curiosity, inquisitivness, and determination. As a water creature it suggests going with the flow of the water and Mother Nature.

I am thankful for a day like yesterday and today. It has given me a little laughter after too much seriousness. It has given me time to slow down and care for someone other than myself. It as also helped me to slow down and be reflective on what is truly important in life. You never know when life can throw a few curve balls at you. I am just glad I could slow down and catch them instead up getting wallup-ed on the head.

To conclude with wisdom from the Heron: Stand out in my uniqueness and follow my own innate wisdom.