Jasper,
For 11 years you have been my constant companion. At the wonderful age of 15 years you have passed on to your next life. You are the one that called it "Transformation". You are right on with that word. It is a wonderful transformation that occurs at the death of a body. So much life is given when it seems one is taken. You have crossed the bridge with such confidence and grace.
You have taught me about some of the greatest gifts in life. You taught me about perserverance, love, hope, acceptance, honor, and now death.
You showed me how to stick with it against all odds when you stayed by Murphy's side after his amputation.
You loved me unconditionally when I was going through a breakup or death of another animal.
You gave me hope when I felt like all was lost. I was your ray of hope when I found you in the rescue and knew I was going to bring you home.
You showed me how to graciously find acceptance in all things.
You showed me about honor when things started to become difficult for you. I was able to honor your requests to die at home in peace. I was able to let go of my selfishness and want to keep you longer. I honor our time together and what it means to me. I honored your final wishes of having dignity.
You showed me that death is a natural and inevitable part of life. Dying can be a beautiful process if we only look beyond the facade of death. Death is only a means to journey to a new world and to give rise to new life. You allowed me to find peace and love in your transformation and I am forever greatful. I was able to find happiness after your transformation from the peace in knowing I had done everything I could for you and knowing your and my time was perfect together.
You tell me to live life joyously and with no regrets. I will.
You tell me to find peace in the watcher. I will.
You tell me you will always be my pillar of support. Thank you.
And yes, I will cry. I am and probably will again.
Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with me. It has been blessed to live with you. The memories I have flood my mind. You putting the dogs in their place by nipping their noses.... You thumping your little behind when I am trying to sleep.... Thank you for scratching me when I have been holding you too long and now you have to pee.... You running like a mad man in the hallway.... Trips to the grocery store with Chris (what were we thinking?! :) )... Swimming in the pool.... running in the kitchen..... Your cuteness when you sprawled out in your bed.....Shawn nicknaming you "Jazzy J" like you were a bad ass rapper or something (he loves you and misses you too).....
Thank you for being my friend and my little buddha bunny. I know we will chat again.
Love,
Kendra
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Loud vs. quiet
This is the lesson of the day-
Learn to look past the loud booming voice and hear the quiet inner voice.
Maze is staying with us again and like last time is barking almost non-stop except for when he is sleeping. I will be the first to tell you that the frustration in dealing with a high pitched, non-stop, barking dog is absolutely almost certain to drive me to insanity. I have tried everything in the book to get him to stop barking. Nothing is working.
So a phone call to my dear friend and animal communicator helped clue me in on a few things (that I happened to already know but didn't listen to my quiet inner voice). Maze barks because he wants my attention, yes he stops when I give him attention but then he is teaching me and that gets us nowhere. What Maze really wants is for me to hear past the loud obnoxious barking and hear his quiet voice.
Today is one with little connection and grounding, the horses clued me in to that, thank you. I struggle on occasion with staying connected to my body and connected in the present moment. These days feel more frustrating and aggrivating than the peaceful connected days. I generally get a clue from one of my animals that I am not connected and need to slow down and reconnect. Let me tell you, so much easier said than done.
When I first met Maze I knew that he was going to teach me how to really communicate beyond the verbal. I already do this with my animals and comes easily with horses; sometimes I hear the messages but don't always listen, for some reason or another. Dogs and cats are a different story for me. I knew that Maze was going to show me that verbal communication is of no use with him and that going slow, connecting and grounding, and really listening is how true connection and communication happens. Well today is the day we start MY lessons in true communication. Many thank yous to Maze.
Also recognizing that it is okay to ask for help. I so often think I have to do everything on my own, that I can "handle it". As I have started to learn that it is ok to ask for help, new insights arise more readily. I don't feel so alone when I know I can ask for help and my friends and teachers are right there waiting to assist. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we are all able to help each other. Sometimes we just have to give our selves permission to allow others to help us. There is nothing wrong with me if I ask for help. There is much relief that comes with asking for help. We actually all work better together than by ourselves.
Learn to look past the loud booming voice and hear the quiet inner voice.
Maze is staying with us again and like last time is barking almost non-stop except for when he is sleeping. I will be the first to tell you that the frustration in dealing with a high pitched, non-stop, barking dog is absolutely almost certain to drive me to insanity. I have tried everything in the book to get him to stop barking. Nothing is working.
So a phone call to my dear friend and animal communicator helped clue me in on a few things (that I happened to already know but didn't listen to my quiet inner voice). Maze barks because he wants my attention, yes he stops when I give him attention but then he is teaching me and that gets us nowhere. What Maze really wants is for me to hear past the loud obnoxious barking and hear his quiet voice.
Today is one with little connection and grounding, the horses clued me in to that, thank you. I struggle on occasion with staying connected to my body and connected in the present moment. These days feel more frustrating and aggrivating than the peaceful connected days. I generally get a clue from one of my animals that I am not connected and need to slow down and reconnect. Let me tell you, so much easier said than done.
When I first met Maze I knew that he was going to teach me how to really communicate beyond the verbal. I already do this with my animals and comes easily with horses; sometimes I hear the messages but don't always listen, for some reason or another. Dogs and cats are a different story for me. I knew that Maze was going to show me that verbal communication is of no use with him and that going slow, connecting and grounding, and really listening is how true connection and communication happens. Well today is the day we start MY lessons in true communication. Many thank yous to Maze.
Also recognizing that it is okay to ask for help. I so often think I have to do everything on my own, that I can "handle it". As I have started to learn that it is ok to ask for help, new insights arise more readily. I don't feel so alone when I know I can ask for help and my friends and teachers are right there waiting to assist. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we are all able to help each other. Sometimes we just have to give our selves permission to allow others to help us. There is nothing wrong with me if I ask for help. There is much relief that comes with asking for help. We actually all work better together than by ourselves.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Amazing Grace
Last Saturday I met a dog that very my pulled at my hearstrings. Maze is nothing other than love and light. When I first met Maze all I saw was this beautiful dog with a heart that just poured out love and hope to all things. He looks forward to the good in life. His heart is just open to everyone that meets him and he wants to share his story.
You see, he is unable to physically walk but his spirit is already off and running. Maze requires 24 hour care. As my sleepover friend for a few nights this week, I have come to understand his love for life runs deep and affects all those that meet him. It is humbling for me to care for him. He is greatful and appreciative to have the love and care in as normal a life as possible. Like any dog he loves car rides, playing with other dogs, investigating the cat, and playing with toys. He loves gentle stretching and bodywork. He just enjoys the attention.
Nothing prepares you in life for caring for a being that is unable to care for themselves. You are their life line. Maze has shown me the ultimate in perservering in the face of adversity. My heart is bigger because of him. I am inspired to be more like him. Love and understanding is mostly what you need in life, this is what Maze shows me. His drive and will to share his story is deeply touching. When I look at Maze there is nothing to fix or change. He shows us to look beyond the physical we see and look at the true nature of the being. He is a dog that doesn't wallow in pity or feel depressed at his physical state. He is joyful and strong spirited.
I challenge all my friends and people I know to look past the outside physical, see the inner spirit potential with love and understanding. As we all learn to walk on our journey may we remember that we are all connected through spirit and to embrace each of our gifts in life. May we find the wonder in all the beauty in life- that is A-Maze-ing Grace.
You see, he is unable to physically walk but his spirit is already off and running. Maze requires 24 hour care. As my sleepover friend for a few nights this week, I have come to understand his love for life runs deep and affects all those that meet him. It is humbling for me to care for him. He is greatful and appreciative to have the love and care in as normal a life as possible. Like any dog he loves car rides, playing with other dogs, investigating the cat, and playing with toys. He loves gentle stretching and bodywork. He just enjoys the attention.
Nothing prepares you in life for caring for a being that is unable to care for themselves. You are their life line. Maze has shown me the ultimate in perservering in the face of adversity. My heart is bigger because of him. I am inspired to be more like him. Love and understanding is mostly what you need in life, this is what Maze shows me. His drive and will to share his story is deeply touching. When I look at Maze there is nothing to fix or change. He shows us to look beyond the physical we see and look at the true nature of the being. He is a dog that doesn't wallow in pity or feel depressed at his physical state. He is joyful and strong spirited.
I challenge all my friends and people I know to look past the outside physical, see the inner spirit potential with love and understanding. As we all learn to walk on our journey may we remember that we are all connected through spirit and to embrace each of our gifts in life. May we find the wonder in all the beauty in life- that is A-Maze-ing Grace.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
To listen
I sit here today in reflection over the series of events in the last week. I was supposed to drive to Hayward on Thursday to participate in another Epona experience with Juli Lynch. All week I was questioning why I was going? Did I want to go? Thursday morning I felt great and was ready to go. I had a couple of horses to trim for my dearest friend Beth. After beginning to work with her horses I started to feel physically weak and exhausted. I usually trim Boude by myself with little problems but today she came in the barn and things got a little trying. I asked her to go back in the house and Boude and I finished with much more ease.
This caused reflection for Beth and I. Why did Boude behave like this? He understands how to pick up his hooves and hold them. He knows how to balance. Beth and I know how to work with horses, so what was the bigger picture? We came to an understanding that in order for this to work harmoniously, Beth and I must be on the same energetic wave length, so to speak. We need to help Boude understand that he can work with me just as well as when Beth is present. After a dream last night ( I will share in a moment), I have a different understanding of this experience. If Boude was doing well, why fight with it just to have the owner there? Why not just go with the flow and stop resisting? Beth and I also were able to have a clear picture of my role as practitioner and her role as owner and how we can best support a horse that is receiving hoof care.
After leaving her farm, I was torn between going to Hayward and staying home. I was packed and ready to go, so I went. I went with the understanding that if I wanted to turn around at any point I could. After I reached Madison, Juli called me. We spoke of my need to stay home. I immediately felt better when the decision to stay home was made. I figured I had drove this far (by now I was almost to Baraboo) I would stop at Devil's Lake.
At Devil's Lake I took a short walk, found a big boulder to sit on, and started journeling. It was a great experience and I had some interesting insights from a chipmunk. The little fellow stayed nearby the entire time I was there. I got lost in time and before I knew it I had been there an hour. I had been entranced by the forest and all her glory. As I left the park, I passed a prairie. As I looked out over the prairie I saw thousands of glittering, gliding Dragonflies. Blue, gold, purple, and red bodies flying and floating in silence over the prairie. I parked and followed a path down into the prairie. I was just enveloped in the beauty and silence of this magical experience. The path took me down into the prairie as the grasses were taller than I. There was nothing but me and Dragonflies in their silent dance. There are not enough words to describe how inspiring, beautiful and amazing this experience was.
Since arriving home I have felt emotionally unstable and very sensitive to energy shifts. I became aware of the upcoming affects of Hurricane Irene. My sister and her family are 20 min from the coast in North Carolina. I knew they had evacuated but I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of the panic and loss the people will feel on the East Coast. It was like I was feeling all the panic, worry, fear, and loss they were to feel. After speaking with my ever guiding light (you know who you are:) she helped me to realize that there is a lot of panic, worry, and loss already happening and that my feelings don't need to add to it. Instead to be a beacon of love, light, and thankfulness for a seemingly dark situation.
My perspective on this rapidly evolving world is one of love and light. I know that it appears the world is falling apart with war, terrorism, hurricanes, earthquakes, drought, and damaging floods but I feel we are 'falling' away from the energy that is not loving or supportive for the Earth any longer. My reflection on the current hurricane is this. I see wind being an active aspect air and it being the breath of life. It represents the Spirit and therefore is what holds us all together. As noted by Fernando Ortiz in El Huracan, a hurricane is a cosmic synergy as it contains three elements within it. The Fire as light-rays. The Air as wind and the Water as rain. These three together disturbs the Earth. This appears to me as a symbol of new growth and community.
Today I got up and felt immediately ill. I have been nauseous all day. I am hungry but food, even water makes me feel ill. I had all sorts of plans for today but instead I am staying home and taking care of my body.
The dream I had: I was taking part in a clinic and we had walked the horses a fairly long distance away from the barn. I was working with a black spirited horse, reminded me of a thoroughbred. We were to mount the horses and ride back to the barn. As soon as I got on my horse, who had an english saddle, I immediately was scared of falling off. My horse picked up speed, I fought with him to stay at a walk, I began to lose my balance was falling to the right side. It was in a blink and I had decided to just go with the horse. I was able to pull my body back up onto the horse and we rode together all the way back. I grasped at his mane and allowed him to go forward at his choice of speed. I passed everyone who had been in the clinic. We came to a rode crossing and I was passing by another horse and rider. I looked back to see who it was and here was Juli's brightly shining and smiling face. I asked my horse to slow down for the road crossing. We waited for Juli and walked the rest of the way home.
I have reflected on this dream most of the day and want to share this. Sometimes when we try to control and force a situation instead of going with the flow we end up falling off the horse. We all need guides and teachers and they help us to go with the flow even if we are unsure of the end result. We need to listen to the messages we receive and follow them. I am sure glad I did. Had I have pushed through to Juli's I would not have had the experience at Devil's Lake, experienced panic and loss and then found light in the situation, and I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. I know that the weekend at Juli's was wonderful and inspiring but there was not where I was supposed to be. I am thankful that I was able to honor my voice and do what felt right for me. I am ever thankful for the teachers, Earthly and Spiritual, that are supporting me in honoring myself and listening to the messages.
This caused reflection for Beth and I. Why did Boude behave like this? He understands how to pick up his hooves and hold them. He knows how to balance. Beth and I know how to work with horses, so what was the bigger picture? We came to an understanding that in order for this to work harmoniously, Beth and I must be on the same energetic wave length, so to speak. We need to help Boude understand that he can work with me just as well as when Beth is present. After a dream last night ( I will share in a moment), I have a different understanding of this experience. If Boude was doing well, why fight with it just to have the owner there? Why not just go with the flow and stop resisting? Beth and I also were able to have a clear picture of my role as practitioner and her role as owner and how we can best support a horse that is receiving hoof care.
After leaving her farm, I was torn between going to Hayward and staying home. I was packed and ready to go, so I went. I went with the understanding that if I wanted to turn around at any point I could. After I reached Madison, Juli called me. We spoke of my need to stay home. I immediately felt better when the decision to stay home was made. I figured I had drove this far (by now I was almost to Baraboo) I would stop at Devil's Lake.
At Devil's Lake I took a short walk, found a big boulder to sit on, and started journeling. It was a great experience and I had some interesting insights from a chipmunk. The little fellow stayed nearby the entire time I was there. I got lost in time and before I knew it I had been there an hour. I had been entranced by the forest and all her glory. As I left the park, I passed a prairie. As I looked out over the prairie I saw thousands of glittering, gliding Dragonflies. Blue, gold, purple, and red bodies flying and floating in silence over the prairie. I parked and followed a path down into the prairie. I was just enveloped in the beauty and silence of this magical experience. The path took me down into the prairie as the grasses were taller than I. There was nothing but me and Dragonflies in their silent dance. There are not enough words to describe how inspiring, beautiful and amazing this experience was.
Since arriving home I have felt emotionally unstable and very sensitive to energy shifts. I became aware of the upcoming affects of Hurricane Irene. My sister and her family are 20 min from the coast in North Carolina. I knew they had evacuated but I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of the panic and loss the people will feel on the East Coast. It was like I was feeling all the panic, worry, fear, and loss they were to feel. After speaking with my ever guiding light (you know who you are:) she helped me to realize that there is a lot of panic, worry, and loss already happening and that my feelings don't need to add to it. Instead to be a beacon of love, light, and thankfulness for a seemingly dark situation.
My perspective on this rapidly evolving world is one of love and light. I know that it appears the world is falling apart with war, terrorism, hurricanes, earthquakes, drought, and damaging floods but I feel we are 'falling' away from the energy that is not loving or supportive for the Earth any longer. My reflection on the current hurricane is this. I see wind being an active aspect air and it being the breath of life. It represents the Spirit and therefore is what holds us all together. As noted by Fernando Ortiz in El Huracan, a hurricane is a cosmic synergy as it contains three elements within it. The Fire as light-rays. The Air as wind and the Water as rain. These three together disturbs the Earth. This appears to me as a symbol of new growth and community.
Today I got up and felt immediately ill. I have been nauseous all day. I am hungry but food, even water makes me feel ill. I had all sorts of plans for today but instead I am staying home and taking care of my body.
The dream I had: I was taking part in a clinic and we had walked the horses a fairly long distance away from the barn. I was working with a black spirited horse, reminded me of a thoroughbred. We were to mount the horses and ride back to the barn. As soon as I got on my horse, who had an english saddle, I immediately was scared of falling off. My horse picked up speed, I fought with him to stay at a walk, I began to lose my balance was falling to the right side. It was in a blink and I had decided to just go with the horse. I was able to pull my body back up onto the horse and we rode together all the way back. I grasped at his mane and allowed him to go forward at his choice of speed. I passed everyone who had been in the clinic. We came to a rode crossing and I was passing by another horse and rider. I looked back to see who it was and here was Juli's brightly shining and smiling face. I asked my horse to slow down for the road crossing. We waited for Juli and walked the rest of the way home.
I have reflected on this dream most of the day and want to share this. Sometimes when we try to control and force a situation instead of going with the flow we end up falling off the horse. We all need guides and teachers and they help us to go with the flow even if we are unsure of the end result. We need to listen to the messages we receive and follow them. I am sure glad I did. Had I have pushed through to Juli's I would not have had the experience at Devil's Lake, experienced panic and loss and then found light in the situation, and I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. I know that the weekend at Juli's was wonderful and inspiring but there was not where I was supposed to be. I am thankful that I was able to honor my voice and do what felt right for me. I am ever thankful for the teachers, Earthly and Spiritual, that are supporting me in honoring myself and listening to the messages.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Animal Teachers
It is amazing and beautiful to me the messages that nature has for us if we only take the time to be present and hear them. I have so many birds and animals coming into my life right now. It is difficult not to hear the messages. Some messages are very obvious, while others take awhile to develop. There is no doubt about the connection that myself and everyone else shares with animals. I very much feel that animals come into our lives to support, love and nurture our Soul. They are more than just co-habitants and friends; they are our teachers, confidants, soul-mates, and support system. They accept and love us unconditionally, something we all could learn more about. I will share with you the animals coming into my life, the messages they have for me, and how they are supporting my journey.
Peacock-Wise Vision-Symbolism of Feet-Wisdom-Resurrection
This bird is a reminder for me to 'see' the bigger picture and that I need to look inside myself for the answers I seek. The feet are our support system. They move us forward and connect us with the earth. I have felt the need to get back to nature and connect with the horse and the earth more.
Turkey- Shared Blessings-Harvest-Sacrifice-New Beginnings
This bird is a reminder to me to share my gifts with others and to create and bring forth my new ideas. The turkey is also known as a Earth Eagle. It reminds me to look to the Earth and the tools it bears to help support me on my journey. It reminds me to be adaptable and to plant new seeds of growth. It reminds me to connect with my Third Eye for inner vision and femininity.
Sand Hill Crane-Longevity-Creation through Focus-Devotion-Intelligence-Inquisitiveness
They remind me to keep my focus on the important things in my life. Not to let my emotions get the best of me. If I focus my intent I can create. Reminds me to protect and stand up for my beliefs and ideas. Reminds me that all the answers for my questions are within reach and sometimes I need to look within and other times I need to ask for help.
Polar Bear- Strength-Nurturing-Purity-Feminine-Strength in Adversity
This animal reminds me to nurture my feminine side and find strength in the moment. I need to remember to let go and not worry in the moment and that all is working as it should.
Red-Tailed Hawk-Visionary Power- Guardianship
Their keen eyesight again reminds me to keep my own eyes open to the present moment. All I ever need is right now. They appear when my life is moving toward my soul purpose. Teaches me to fly to great heights but to keep grounded. They teach me to be observant and to 'spread my wings' with my creative energy.
Horse-Power-Freedom-Movement-Support-Courage
The horse is one of my greatest teachers. They are with me all the time. They remind me to stay present on my journey. They teach me to forgive, let go of injustices, acceptance, and joyfulness. They teach that as much as we are individuals on our own spiritual path we are all connected on an even bigger spiritual path. That as I fulfill my Spirit I will better serve other people on their journey. I could go on and on about what horses teach us.
I have always known that animals are comforting to me. I seek their presence when I am upset, uncomfortable, or struggling in some way. They are always there gently supporting and encouraging me. I could recount all the times that animals have significantly impacted my life for the better but that would take days of writing. I will start writing today with writing about one experience that an animal as stepped forward to support me.
This is for Jynx. This beautiful long hair tabby cat came into my life as a sophomore in high school. She was with me for 5 years. The day she died was excruciating. I was sobbing hysterically. I was inconsolable. She was killed by a coyote and a neighbor found her lifeless body. I suddenly was aware, amidst my tears, that she didn't suffer. I had a vision that she had run as far as she could, and couldn't get up a tree fast enough. She was grabbed by the throat and shook. It was over. I knew that there was no pain or fear at the time of death. I saw her Spirit leave her body before she was killed. She showed me the grace with dying. She showed me that our Spirits are gifted with the ability to leave the body before there is pain and suffering. This experience has helped me be a part of so many transitions with animals. The question is always there, did they suffer? No, is genuinely always my answer. I have a greater peace about death and dying now. As I watch my rabbit, Jasper, starting leave this physical life, I know there is no pain or suffering- thanks to Jynx. She is forever loved and remembered for the gifts she gave to me. I have her permanently tattooed as a way to keep her close to me forever.
Peacock-Wise Vision-Symbolism of Feet-Wisdom-Resurrection
This bird is a reminder for me to 'see' the bigger picture and that I need to look inside myself for the answers I seek. The feet are our support system. They move us forward and connect us with the earth. I have felt the need to get back to nature and connect with the horse and the earth more.
Turkey- Shared Blessings-Harvest-Sacrifice-New Beginnings
This bird is a reminder to me to share my gifts with others and to create and bring forth my new ideas. The turkey is also known as a Earth Eagle. It reminds me to look to the Earth and the tools it bears to help support me on my journey. It reminds me to be adaptable and to plant new seeds of growth. It reminds me to connect with my Third Eye for inner vision and femininity.
Sand Hill Crane-Longevity-Creation through Focus-Devotion-Intelligence-Inquisitiveness
They remind me to keep my focus on the important things in my life. Not to let my emotions get the best of me. If I focus my intent I can create. Reminds me to protect and stand up for my beliefs and ideas. Reminds me that all the answers for my questions are within reach and sometimes I need to look within and other times I need to ask for help.
Polar Bear- Strength-Nurturing-Purity-Feminine-Strength in Adversity
This animal reminds me to nurture my feminine side and find strength in the moment. I need to remember to let go and not worry in the moment and that all is working as it should.
Red-Tailed Hawk-Visionary Power- Guardianship
Their keen eyesight again reminds me to keep my own eyes open to the present moment. All I ever need is right now. They appear when my life is moving toward my soul purpose. Teaches me to fly to great heights but to keep grounded. They teach me to be observant and to 'spread my wings' with my creative energy.
Horse-Power-Freedom-Movement-Support-Courage
The horse is one of my greatest teachers. They are with me all the time. They remind me to stay present on my journey. They teach me to forgive, let go of injustices, acceptance, and joyfulness. They teach that as much as we are individuals on our own spiritual path we are all connected on an even bigger spiritual path. That as I fulfill my Spirit I will better serve other people on their journey. I could go on and on about what horses teach us.
I have always known that animals are comforting to me. I seek their presence when I am upset, uncomfortable, or struggling in some way. They are always there gently supporting and encouraging me. I could recount all the times that animals have significantly impacted my life for the better but that would take days of writing. I will start writing today with writing about one experience that an animal as stepped forward to support me.
This is for Jynx. This beautiful long hair tabby cat came into my life as a sophomore in high school. She was with me for 5 years. The day she died was excruciating. I was sobbing hysterically. I was inconsolable. She was killed by a coyote and a neighbor found her lifeless body. I suddenly was aware, amidst my tears, that she didn't suffer. I had a vision that she had run as far as she could, and couldn't get up a tree fast enough. She was grabbed by the throat and shook. It was over. I knew that there was no pain or fear at the time of death. I saw her Spirit leave her body before she was killed. She showed me the grace with dying. She showed me that our Spirits are gifted with the ability to leave the body before there is pain and suffering. This experience has helped me be a part of so many transitions with animals. The question is always there, did they suffer? No, is genuinely always my answer. I have a greater peace about death and dying now. As I watch my rabbit, Jasper, starting leave this physical life, I know there is no pain or suffering- thanks to Jynx. She is forever loved and remembered for the gifts she gave to me. I have her permanently tattooed as a way to keep her close to me forever.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Appreciation
I will start with this-- Thank you to the many teachers that are coming forward in my life. Thank you Anke for breath and joy, thank you Juli for your open heart, thank you Epala herd for love and acceptance, thank you Beth for never ending love, support, and friendship. Thank you Gracie for your love, joy and grace. Thank you Shawn for your support and open mind. Thank you Jas for your humor and courage in this time of your transition. Thank you to all my animal friends that continue to light my path and support me as I grow.
I completed last week with a trip up to Hayward. It was there that I forged new relationships. It was there I discovered part of myself in a different light. The weekend left me feeling love, joy, groundedness, centeredness, and connection to life in a whole new way. I came away with such contentment about where I am in life. I can literally breathe better! I discovered through my breath how I can truly slow down. I didn't realize until this weekend what it really meant to slow down. Through this 'slow down' I feel better connection with the Earth, myself, and with other beings.
I am so happy to say that Gracie (my Mom's cat) brought five little souls into this world this morning. Such a beautiful gift! There is so much love and joy present. Gracie showed me what it means to open my heart to love and joy. It is such a gift to be part of her little kittens life.
As with all things that come into this world they must leave at some point. As of Sunday morning we are in the final chapters of Jasper's life here with us. I don't know how much time is left. He is 14 years old and that is OLD by bunny standards. I would consider him to be in hospice care now. We have had our shares of laughs in the last 11 years. He has put every one of our dogs in their place, he supported Murphy when he only had three legs, and he ruled the house too. I want nothing more than for his soul to leave this world very much loved. After my weekend in Hayward I have much more clarity about life. I am able to find the love and beauty in this time of transition. There is no more fear about death. That fear will do nothing to support a beautiful part of life. I have chosen to support his transition with the crystals chiastolite and kyanite. These will help him find the light and have peace with the process. I have never had an animal transition on their own in my care. This is a new experience for me and with Gracie's kittens this completes the circle of life. I will keep you updated about his transition and any insights that come to light. For now he is very much loved and care for and that is all that matters.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Hilarious!
I am in the writing mode this week.
Today was one of those days where it seems like the world is throwing everything at you. I am laughing it all off because it truly is funny now. I need this laughter to feel better about not being in control. Control for me is a way that makes me feel like I am important, needed, and fulfilled. However, it is all false. I don't need to control anything. I can allow all to happen as it may. That is true fulfillment.
Let me recap the last 24 hours.
Yesterday, I was trimming horses for a friend and client. I was working on the left front hoof when I heard the owner begin to become concerned about a rather large horse fly buzzing around. The horse was unconcerned so I kept working. She proceeded to ask, "Can I borrow that?" while pointing at my rasp. I said sure but wasn't really aware of what she was planning. It suddenly came to me. I stood up and looked at the owner only to see her poised with my rasp like it was a baseball bat, ready to hit the fly once it landed. I quickly disarmed my friend and asked, "What are you thinking? You can't hit a fly that lands on a horse with my rasp!" We started laughing as she told me she was only going to tap the fly. Really? She looked like she was going to take a good ole swing at it. I told her to use her hand. She gasped and said "Ew no. I had to use my iPhone last time to kill one." I eventually killed the fly because I had gloves on. We had a good laugh about this. I just hope she has her phone the next time a fly arrives to pester her horse!
Last night Shawn came home from the firehouse meeting with news from a friend that the house we are purchasing has the well too close to the sewer. I was full of questions but there were obviously no answers. It makes me really slow down and relax a little when my husband comes in to tell me something important but lacks details. Let me tell you about letting go! I love details, I need to know everything about the situation. Blah! Not this time. So this morning I called the realtor and found out that indeed the well was too close to the sewer. It must be moved. Still very little details at this point. A few hours later I find out that the town will pay for the well to be moved and seems unlikely that we will close on August 10th due to lack of running water or clean water tests results in the house. At this point I just started laughing. There is nothing else to do but just wait and see. Patience is a virtue and I am learning that one in a big way today.
To add to this, I went to meet with the lender this morning. While sitting at her desk another banker approached us and asked if that was my Prius in the parking lot. Of course it was. Well he said that my driver side tire is very low. Again, I started laughing. I think they were confused by this. Turns out the seal between my tire and wheel was bad and needed repair. Check. Good to go.
While at home, doing some computer work I found out that there had been an accident in Rochester (the town we are buying our home in). A cement truck had plowed into a home! I was momentarily shocked and feared the worst. I had a fleeting thought that it was the house we are looking to purchase that had been hit. It had obviously not been our house but the house involved was only a block away and on the same street. More laughter, as I realized that I went to worst case scenario and that is just not helpful in any situation. Note: Everyone involed in the accident is ok.
To add another strange thing for the day: I was driving about a mile from my home to get my tire fixed and I crested a hill to see a Great Blue Heron flying down the middle of the road. I slowed down and almost came to a stop and the Heron still almost flew into me. It barely made it over my car and then landed on the side of the road. Strange. I turned the car around, pulled over, took a picture (why not? I figured I wouldn't be this close to such a magnificent bird again), and got out. I got within 6 feet before it clumsily flew over me and awkwardly landed on a nearby rooftop. Now, there is nothing funny about this. I am concerned for the little fellow. The bird appeared to be unharmed physically but clearly was not well. I wished the little fellow the best on his journey after spending a moment or two contemplating what I could do to help. Symbolism: To stay on my unique path. Strength, purity, and patience. Curiosity, inquisitivness, and determination. As a water creature it suggests going with the flow of the water and Mother Nature.
I am thankful for a day like yesterday and today. It has given me a little laughter after too much seriousness. It has given me time to slow down and care for someone other than myself. It as also helped me to slow down and be reflective on what is truly important in life. You never know when life can throw a few curve balls at you. I am just glad I could slow down and catch them instead up getting wallup-ed on the head.
To conclude with wisdom from the Heron: Stand out in my uniqueness and follow my own innate wisdom.
Today was one of those days where it seems like the world is throwing everything at you. I am laughing it all off because it truly is funny now. I need this laughter to feel better about not being in control. Control for me is a way that makes me feel like I am important, needed, and fulfilled. However, it is all false. I don't need to control anything. I can allow all to happen as it may. That is true fulfillment.
Let me recap the last 24 hours.
Yesterday, I was trimming horses for a friend and client. I was working on the left front hoof when I heard the owner begin to become concerned about a rather large horse fly buzzing around. The horse was unconcerned so I kept working. She proceeded to ask, "Can I borrow that?" while pointing at my rasp. I said sure but wasn't really aware of what she was planning. It suddenly came to me. I stood up and looked at the owner only to see her poised with my rasp like it was a baseball bat, ready to hit the fly once it landed. I quickly disarmed my friend and asked, "What are you thinking? You can't hit a fly that lands on a horse with my rasp!" We started laughing as she told me she was only going to tap the fly. Really? She looked like she was going to take a good ole swing at it. I told her to use her hand. She gasped and said "Ew no. I had to use my iPhone last time to kill one." I eventually killed the fly because I had gloves on. We had a good laugh about this. I just hope she has her phone the next time a fly arrives to pester her horse!
Last night Shawn came home from the firehouse meeting with news from a friend that the house we are purchasing has the well too close to the sewer. I was full of questions but there were obviously no answers. It makes me really slow down and relax a little when my husband comes in to tell me something important but lacks details. Let me tell you about letting go! I love details, I need to know everything about the situation. Blah! Not this time. So this morning I called the realtor and found out that indeed the well was too close to the sewer. It must be moved. Still very little details at this point. A few hours later I find out that the town will pay for the well to be moved and seems unlikely that we will close on August 10th due to lack of running water or clean water tests results in the house. At this point I just started laughing. There is nothing else to do but just wait and see. Patience is a virtue and I am learning that one in a big way today.
To add to this, I went to meet with the lender this morning. While sitting at her desk another banker approached us and asked if that was my Prius in the parking lot. Of course it was. Well he said that my driver side tire is very low. Again, I started laughing. I think they were confused by this. Turns out the seal between my tire and wheel was bad and needed repair. Check. Good to go.
While at home, doing some computer work I found out that there had been an accident in Rochester (the town we are buying our home in). A cement truck had plowed into a home! I was momentarily shocked and feared the worst. I had a fleeting thought that it was the house we are looking to purchase that had been hit. It had obviously not been our house but the house involved was only a block away and on the same street. More laughter, as I realized that I went to worst case scenario and that is just not helpful in any situation. Note: Everyone involed in the accident is ok.
To add another strange thing for the day: I was driving about a mile from my home to get my tire fixed and I crested a hill to see a Great Blue Heron flying down the middle of the road. I slowed down and almost came to a stop and the Heron still almost flew into me. It barely made it over my car and then landed on the side of the road. Strange. I turned the car around, pulled over, took a picture (why not? I figured I wouldn't be this close to such a magnificent bird again), and got out. I got within 6 feet before it clumsily flew over me and awkwardly landed on a nearby rooftop. Now, there is nothing funny about this. I am concerned for the little fellow. The bird appeared to be unharmed physically but clearly was not well. I wished the little fellow the best on his journey after spending a moment or two contemplating what I could do to help. Symbolism: To stay on my unique path. Strength, purity, and patience. Curiosity, inquisitivness, and determination. As a water creature it suggests going with the flow of the water and Mother Nature.
I am thankful for a day like yesterday and today. It has given me a little laughter after too much seriousness. It has given me time to slow down and care for someone other than myself. It as also helped me to slow down and be reflective on what is truly important in life. You never know when life can throw a few curve balls at you. I am just glad I could slow down and catch them instead up getting wallup-ed on the head.
To conclude with wisdom from the Heron: Stand out in my uniqueness and follow my own innate wisdom.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
New Insights
I write this after several weeks of frustration with the bank. Shawn and I are in the process of buying a house. I am one of the types of people who expect others to correctly do the job they are paid to do. When I have to submit the same papers, that they lost, three times- there is a problem. If the bank system makes it seem like the general public could do a better job running the bank, then it is time to re-evaluate the system. I have finally just given into the fact that I can't change the situation but I can certainly change how I feel about it.
I spent the next couple days in my own world. I buried myself in packing the house, playing with horses and dogs, and reflecting on what is truly important. I realized that being angry or frustrated is absolutely a perfect emotion to have but it is what we do with those emotions that really affect us. I chose to not let them run me down. I found practical ways to allow myself to experience the emotion and then let go of it. That's the hard part- letting go. (That must be one of my major life lessons, along with patience too.) Letting go means allowing whatever it is to happen and then moving past/with it with no attachment to the outcome. I know there is nothing I can do to make the bank give us the mortgage. I can, however, supply them with all the paperwork (no matter how many times I have to give it to them) they need in order to see that we are qualified buyers. I have to 'let go' of the attachment to have things work perfectly the way I want them to and just allow them to happen as they are supposed to.
We don't always know why things happen the way they do but when we silence our thoughts for a moment and just be present we can allow information to flow more smoothly. Letting go of attachment to the outcome also means to be fully present in the moment. It is through this presence in the moment that I was able to see the bigger picture and how I am being affected. I mentioned earlier my need to control situations to make things flow 'perfectly' the way I want them to. Ridiculous right?
In a moment of letting go, I became aware of the beautiful sound of all the birds on the farm and the very ear piercing sounds of a Red Tailed Hawk. She was magnificent! She flew around the trees, out of sight, only to come back and fly right over my head. It was stunning and inspiring! To be able to be free from boundaries and the sky is her limit she really brought me back. She was beautiful and poised. She is able to make decisions at a moments notice all because she is present in the moment. I realized that letting go of the proverbial branch and letting my wings carry me to great heights at any moment because I can....was just cool and inspiring.
So inspiring that I started contemplating the reasons I don't do liberty work with my horses. They are very well behaved and do anything I ask on lead but with no strings attached (pun intended) it is a different story. As I have a need to control, having some sort of physical attachment to my horse only makes sense to me. If they don't do as I ask, I can 'control' the situation via equipment. I reached a point this morning where this previous thought process just seemed ridiculous. I have good relationships with my horses. We do trust each other. I feel safe working with my horses in almost any situation. So then why not remove all strings and go bare?
So that is exactly what I did. I did some research first. I researched Carolyn Resnick and Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling. I like their styles and the way they are with the horses. I wanted to just go out and start doing liberty work in the big open field with my horses. Well.... before getting to that big open field, I needed to do my homework. I realized I needed to work on my patience and let the liberty relationships with my horses evolve as they will. So how far did I get today? Does it really matter how far I got today? Today I started a new journey with my horses that is based on a relationship and trust at liberty and we will get 'there' whenever we get 'there'. I am in no hurry and just want to have fun being present with my horses and letting them guide how far we will go. They show me when I am energetically moving to fast, when I push to much, and how to slow down and let the process happen.
It is hard to get out of our own way and see the bigger picture. Some of us question the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". I am here to tell you that everything absolutely does happen for a reason. We may not know right away but as we learn to quiet ourselves and be present we begin to understand why things happen. I can tell you why just about every major event in my life in the last few years has happened. I can tell you that I am very thankful for every situation that has happened, even if it was a difficult, saddening, or frustrating experience. I have learned so much and grown so much from all the events in my life. We are drawn to situations that help us grow and to learn more about being in touch with our Authentic Selves. We don't have to live in a place of fear or anger. We don't have to let our Ego make us feel like we aren't good enough or we didn't try hard enough. We are enough just the way we are-perfect. For me, understanding why I am fearful of certain things has helped me learn that if we just accept them as they are and come from a place of love then there is no fear, competition, right or wrong, or good and bad. I have said and heard people say that there is evil in the world so that we can know love. I feel this is true but also feel that everything is just a matter of perception. I feel that we are all brought here from the Divine and there is a purpose for all of us. Who are we to say that a situation, by our perception, is bad? What if the Divine has a great and good plan for that seemingly 'bad' situation? Then it is just our perception that it is bad. I challenge myself and everyone else to look at each situation that may seem negative from a different perspective. A perspective of love. If we look at everything with love, then aren't we following our hearts and our Authentic Selves?
If I can allow myself to feel that the bank is doing everything possible they can to get the job done correctly to get us the mortgage, then I don't have to be so angry with them for making ridiculous errors. I know that all will work out perfectly as it is intended, no matter what ends up happening. I am choosing to feel acceptance about the situation and it is a much needed breath of fresh air to a seemingly stifling situation.
When I voice my truth coming from a place of love, I will be heard.
In the moment, I will let go and let be.
Forever Love and Great Appreciation.
I spent the next couple days in my own world. I buried myself in packing the house, playing with horses and dogs, and reflecting on what is truly important. I realized that being angry or frustrated is absolutely a perfect emotion to have but it is what we do with those emotions that really affect us. I chose to not let them run me down. I found practical ways to allow myself to experience the emotion and then let go of it. That's the hard part- letting go. (That must be one of my major life lessons, along with patience too.) Letting go means allowing whatever it is to happen and then moving past/with it with no attachment to the outcome. I know there is nothing I can do to make the bank give us the mortgage. I can, however, supply them with all the paperwork (no matter how many times I have to give it to them) they need in order to see that we are qualified buyers. I have to 'let go' of the attachment to have things work perfectly the way I want them to and just allow them to happen as they are supposed to.
We don't always know why things happen the way they do but when we silence our thoughts for a moment and just be present we can allow information to flow more smoothly. Letting go of attachment to the outcome also means to be fully present in the moment. It is through this presence in the moment that I was able to see the bigger picture and how I am being affected. I mentioned earlier my need to control situations to make things flow 'perfectly' the way I want them to. Ridiculous right?
In a moment of letting go, I became aware of the beautiful sound of all the birds on the farm and the very ear piercing sounds of a Red Tailed Hawk. She was magnificent! She flew around the trees, out of sight, only to come back and fly right over my head. It was stunning and inspiring! To be able to be free from boundaries and the sky is her limit she really brought me back. She was beautiful and poised. She is able to make decisions at a moments notice all because she is present in the moment. I realized that letting go of the proverbial branch and letting my wings carry me to great heights at any moment because I can....was just cool and inspiring.
So inspiring that I started contemplating the reasons I don't do liberty work with my horses. They are very well behaved and do anything I ask on lead but with no strings attached (pun intended) it is a different story. As I have a need to control, having some sort of physical attachment to my horse only makes sense to me. If they don't do as I ask, I can 'control' the situation via equipment. I reached a point this morning where this previous thought process just seemed ridiculous. I have good relationships with my horses. We do trust each other. I feel safe working with my horses in almost any situation. So then why not remove all strings and go bare?
So that is exactly what I did. I did some research first. I researched Carolyn Resnick and Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling. I like their styles and the way they are with the horses. I wanted to just go out and start doing liberty work in the big open field with my horses. Well.... before getting to that big open field, I needed to do my homework. I realized I needed to work on my patience and let the liberty relationships with my horses evolve as they will. So how far did I get today? Does it really matter how far I got today? Today I started a new journey with my horses that is based on a relationship and trust at liberty and we will get 'there' whenever we get 'there'. I am in no hurry and just want to have fun being present with my horses and letting them guide how far we will go. They show me when I am energetically moving to fast, when I push to much, and how to slow down and let the process happen.
It is hard to get out of our own way and see the bigger picture. Some of us question the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". I am here to tell you that everything absolutely does happen for a reason. We may not know right away but as we learn to quiet ourselves and be present we begin to understand why things happen. I can tell you why just about every major event in my life in the last few years has happened. I can tell you that I am very thankful for every situation that has happened, even if it was a difficult, saddening, or frustrating experience. I have learned so much and grown so much from all the events in my life. We are drawn to situations that help us grow and to learn more about being in touch with our Authentic Selves. We don't have to live in a place of fear or anger. We don't have to let our Ego make us feel like we aren't good enough or we didn't try hard enough. We are enough just the way we are-perfect. For me, understanding why I am fearful of certain things has helped me learn that if we just accept them as they are and come from a place of love then there is no fear, competition, right or wrong, or good and bad. I have said and heard people say that there is evil in the world so that we can know love. I feel this is true but also feel that everything is just a matter of perception. I feel that we are all brought here from the Divine and there is a purpose for all of us. Who are we to say that a situation, by our perception, is bad? What if the Divine has a great and good plan for that seemingly 'bad' situation? Then it is just our perception that it is bad. I challenge myself and everyone else to look at each situation that may seem negative from a different perspective. A perspective of love. If we look at everything with love, then aren't we following our hearts and our Authentic Selves?
If I can allow myself to feel that the bank is doing everything possible they can to get the job done correctly to get us the mortgage, then I don't have to be so angry with them for making ridiculous errors. I know that all will work out perfectly as it is intended, no matter what ends up happening. I am choosing to feel acceptance about the situation and it is a much needed breath of fresh air to a seemingly stifling situation.
When I voice my truth coming from a place of love, I will be heard.
In the moment, I will let go and let be.
Forever Love and Great Appreciation.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Connection
It is simply amazing how we can go through life and be connected via cell phones, internet, video chat, skype, etc. and miss the true connections in life.
Life has purpose and meaning with so much depth that it takes often a lifetime to truly connect with. I work daily to slow down. I ask myself, how slow must I become to connect? It isn't about slowing down physically to become lazy but rather to slow down our actions, reactions, and thoughts enough to be present in every single moment. When we can be present in the moment, everything is perfect. If everything is perfect then there is no wrong choice or bad answer. Moments simply provide us countless opportunities to see the perfection in everything.
Let me share with you two stories.
A friend and I decided to take her beautiful young Belgian for a walk in the neighborhood. I was on the lead and she was providing support and hopefully learning something from my interaction with her horse that would help her work with her horse outside the boundaries of her pasture. So the stage was set, my friend and her "fear", and me and my need "to be good enough", and the young Belgian who was scared outside of the pasture.
My only advice from my friend was to keep his head to me as he will take his chance to turn and run off. After about 50 ft down the road the big 'B' decided the bugs and the cars and the lack of horse buddies was too much. He began rearing and became belligerent. He would calm for a moment only to turn away again and get upset. We started to walk back, he veered to the side of the road, it happened so quick and then all we saw were four hooves thundering away. I laughed a very frustrated, defeated laugh. He made his way back to and into the barn. Inside waiting for him was my friend's husband and co-worker. They greeted the Belgian with treats, a pat, and a 'you are alright big buddy' phrase. I was not happy.
So to wrap this up the following day my friend called me to let me in her own revelation in the experience and little did she know I had my own as well. It was a beautiful opportunity for both of us to realize that the magnificent Belgian provided us both with a chance to work through our issues. Her with her fear and me with my need to be good enough. What we realized is that there was nothing to be afraid of and we are good enough just the way we are. How silly it seems in hindsight but how we could have avoided so much frustration if we had only been present enough at the time to truly see the perfection in the experience. Hindsight revelation is great but I want to bring my hindsight to the moment of the present so that I can learn in the moment.
Today I learned that a very exciting clinic I will be attending this week will also be attended by Sherry. I have known Sherry for about 4 years now and I was not happy about this news. I was anxious and considered not attending the clinic. Now remember, this is my perception. I feel as though Sherry has a way of wording things that sound supportive but feels more of "I'm right. You're not." I feel she has a way of being smug and condescending but comes off nicely. I realize that she is a good person and truly means well but then why don't I feel supported by her supposedly supportive words.
As I reflected further I realized that part of journey is letting go of worry about judgment from others. I very much care about what others say and generally feel I am being judged, whether I am or not. When I feel I am being judged I become defensive, shut down, and am not my authentic self. I have a hard time being true to who I am and honoring myself. I feel I will become vulnerable to judgment if i allow myself to experience my authentic self.
Life has purpose and meaning with so much depth that it takes often a lifetime to truly connect with. I work daily to slow down. I ask myself, how slow must I become to connect? It isn't about slowing down physically to become lazy but rather to slow down our actions, reactions, and thoughts enough to be present in every single moment. When we can be present in the moment, everything is perfect. If everything is perfect then there is no wrong choice or bad answer. Moments simply provide us countless opportunities to see the perfection in everything.
Let me share with you two stories.
A friend and I decided to take her beautiful young Belgian for a walk in the neighborhood. I was on the lead and she was providing support and hopefully learning something from my interaction with her horse that would help her work with her horse outside the boundaries of her pasture. So the stage was set, my friend and her "fear", and me and my need "to be good enough", and the young Belgian who was scared outside of the pasture.
My only advice from my friend was to keep his head to me as he will take his chance to turn and run off. After about 50 ft down the road the big 'B' decided the bugs and the cars and the lack of horse buddies was too much. He began rearing and became belligerent. He would calm for a moment only to turn away again and get upset. We started to walk back, he veered to the side of the road, it happened so quick and then all we saw were four hooves thundering away. I laughed a very frustrated, defeated laugh. He made his way back to and into the barn. Inside waiting for him was my friend's husband and co-worker. They greeted the Belgian with treats, a pat, and a 'you are alright big buddy' phrase. I was not happy.
So to wrap this up the following day my friend called me to let me in her own revelation in the experience and little did she know I had my own as well. It was a beautiful opportunity for both of us to realize that the magnificent Belgian provided us both with a chance to work through our issues. Her with her fear and me with my need to be good enough. What we realized is that there was nothing to be afraid of and we are good enough just the way we are. How silly it seems in hindsight but how we could have avoided so much frustration if we had only been present enough at the time to truly see the perfection in the experience. Hindsight revelation is great but I want to bring my hindsight to the moment of the present so that I can learn in the moment.
Today I learned that a very exciting clinic I will be attending this week will also be attended by Sherry. I have known Sherry for about 4 years now and I was not happy about this news. I was anxious and considered not attending the clinic. Now remember, this is my perception. I feel as though Sherry has a way of wording things that sound supportive but feels more of "I'm right. You're not." I feel she has a way of being smug and condescending but comes off nicely. I realize that she is a good person and truly means well but then why don't I feel supported by her supposedly supportive words.
As I reflected further I realized that part of journey is letting go of worry about judgment from others. I very much care about what others say and generally feel I am being judged, whether I am or not. When I feel I am being judged I become defensive, shut down, and am not my authentic self. I have a hard time being true to who I am and honoring myself. I feel I will become vulnerable to judgment if i allow myself to experience my authentic self.
Even writing this there is that fear of being judged by who will read this. I know that this clinic will be an opportunity to work with that attachment of judgment from others. I think we are all provided opportunities to work with our little gremlins. As much as I don't like this particular gremlin, I know that much can be gain by working with it.
So going back to my Intuition blog, much of it comes through connection in the moment. Connecting in the moment allows us to feel freedom from judgment and attachment, and true peace and love. I will continue to work moment by moment to find this connection to my Spirit that allows me to access deep love and appreciation for all things. Through this connection we provide fuel for our ability to follow our intuition to follow our hearts on life's spiritual journey.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Intuition
I worked with an amazing energy worker April 14th and I have been different ever since. I have increased clarity in my own life. I feel more connected with all life; Oneness. I have been able to perceive things that I as previously unaware of and have a much more profound connection with the animals in my life. I have learned to trust my intuition which has helped me become more grounded and less fearful. I have been able to let go of judgements and attachments that were holding me back. Thought I feel this is something I will continue to work with. There is less clutter in my head, much to my relief. I feel I was introduced to this whole new world but yet it isn't new. It is something I have been connected to all along.
As I continue on this journey new experiences are happening that are allowing me to work more intimately with my intuition. I found myself explaining to a colleague that I am an "intuitive barefoot trimmer". I have never used those words like that to explain my field of work. I sat with this phrase for most of this past weekend. Since I have had two more people ask me to work intuitively with the energy to help the hooves heal and help the owners understand what is happening with the hooves on an energetic level. How cool!
As I sit here I am amazed at the depth of the work I do. It isn't just about applying a trim. It is about supporting that horse for true healing. It is about understanding the energy that supports the physical body. I recently read a different perspective on the meaning of healing. Healing is not a passive event, it requires taking action. We are meant to draw on our inner resources to investigate our attitudes, memories, and beliefs. This internal review leads us to evaluate our external circumstances that will help us change our will; our will to see and accept our truths and how we have used our energies and to begin to use energy for the creation of love, self-esteem, and health.
This definition of healing is exactly what I have done. I have reviewed from the inside what my attitudes, memories and beliefs are. I have found the truth in my life and I am stepping forward to use my awakened, connected energy to create, love, peace, and health.
In writing it feels like it is a lot to think about and it is. I have spent so much time analyzing and thinking about everything but now it is time to find my own peace and let it be what may be. Through that I have found that as I let is be my profound truth shines through easily.
I am learning how much my senses beyond our typical five already receive and I am just starting to tap into. It is truly profound how much we all know and how we are all connected on an intimate level. It is a relief to live with such clarity. There is less stress and worry when you let go of attachments to outcomes and judgements. I grew up with my Mom telling me "Don't judge". So easy to say but it was hard to do. Society sets up standards and we set up judgments and attachments around those standards in an effort to conform and uphold those standards. But it wasn't until I went through enough changes and situations that called me to question my very beliefs. I feel all things happen for a reason and we are all here to learn and grow closer to Source. Nothing happens without reason. We are all faced with challenges we must learn from in order to move into a closer relationship with Spirit. It is a continuous evolution of our Spirit.
I have found great joy in watching myself and those around me continue to grow and become more connected with Spirit. We are all evolving and support one another on our individual paths. We all have our own truths. Coming to a place where we can accept our own and others truths without pushing our truth (letting go of attachment) onto someone else allows us to fully connect with each other. There is great strength in supporting each other while still living our truth.
I will continue to grow and learn about myself and support those, especially the horse, around me. I will continue to support each horse on their journey in this life and I will do so by supporting a solid foundation for them from the ground up.
"...learn to view life as a prism
in which you see many colors
When you allow the flow,
in time the light will dispel the darkness."
~Kim McElroy
As I continue on this journey new experiences are happening that are allowing me to work more intimately with my intuition. I found myself explaining to a colleague that I am an "intuitive barefoot trimmer". I have never used those words like that to explain my field of work. I sat with this phrase for most of this past weekend. Since I have had two more people ask me to work intuitively with the energy to help the hooves heal and help the owners understand what is happening with the hooves on an energetic level. How cool!
As I sit here I am amazed at the depth of the work I do. It isn't just about applying a trim. It is about supporting that horse for true healing. It is about understanding the energy that supports the physical body. I recently read a different perspective on the meaning of healing. Healing is not a passive event, it requires taking action. We are meant to draw on our inner resources to investigate our attitudes, memories, and beliefs. This internal review leads us to evaluate our external circumstances that will help us change our will; our will to see and accept our truths and how we have used our energies and to begin to use energy for the creation of love, self-esteem, and health.
This definition of healing is exactly what I have done. I have reviewed from the inside what my attitudes, memories and beliefs are. I have found the truth in my life and I am stepping forward to use my awakened, connected energy to create, love, peace, and health.
In writing it feels like it is a lot to think about and it is. I have spent so much time analyzing and thinking about everything but now it is time to find my own peace and let it be what may be. Through that I have found that as I let is be my profound truth shines through easily.
I am learning how much my senses beyond our typical five already receive and I am just starting to tap into. It is truly profound how much we all know and how we are all connected on an intimate level. It is a relief to live with such clarity. There is less stress and worry when you let go of attachments to outcomes and judgements. I grew up with my Mom telling me "Don't judge". So easy to say but it was hard to do. Society sets up standards and we set up judgments and attachments around those standards in an effort to conform and uphold those standards. But it wasn't until I went through enough changes and situations that called me to question my very beliefs. I feel all things happen for a reason and we are all here to learn and grow closer to Source. Nothing happens without reason. We are all faced with challenges we must learn from in order to move into a closer relationship with Spirit. It is a continuous evolution of our Spirit.
I have found great joy in watching myself and those around me continue to grow and become more connected with Spirit. We are all evolving and support one another on our individual paths. We all have our own truths. Coming to a place where we can accept our own and others truths without pushing our truth (letting go of attachment) onto someone else allows us to fully connect with each other. There is great strength in supporting each other while still living our truth.
I will continue to grow and learn about myself and support those, especially the horse, around me. I will continue to support each horse on their journey in this life and I will do so by supporting a solid foundation for them from the ground up.
"...learn to view life as a prism
in which you see many colors
When you allow the flow,
in time the light will dispel the darkness."
~Kim McElroy
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Transitions
This comes after much reflection after the death of a horse on the farm. Sugar belonged to my mother in law and lived a happy 32 years. Kathy and I were getting two other horses ready to go ride when it came to Kathy's attention that Sugar was passing away. There in the beautiful sunny afternoon, with Kathy and I by her side and surrounded by her other horses, Sugar transitioned to her next life.
I know Kathy is grieving and she is supported by her animals, family, and friends. I was left with questions. Why did I have to be there? Why did she pass away like that? How were the other animals affected by her passing? Shouldn't I feel something more like sadness?
After much reflection and intuitively working with all the animals here in this life I have a better understanding. I was enlightened after I truly understood that death really is just a transition. The soul that embodied the physical is still here but just not in the physical form we grew so accustomed to. We are still connected with the transitioned soul whether we know or not. It is never easy to have a loved one transition, it hurts deeply and can never be replaced. But there is peace in knowing we are all still connected on our soul level.
I was there because I was supposed to be. I was able to be of loving support and assistance in the process. I was grounded and able to focus on what needed to be taken care of with compassion. After feeling upset by the 'why me?' question, I feel thankful that I was there. I personally would not have wanted to be alone and I am glad to be able to have been by Kathy's side. It wasn't about me, it was about what I could do for them.
The beautiful thing we were gifted with is that just before death our Higher Self/Spirit leaves the body. The Spirit no longer feels the pain or fear. There is no suffering in death. I became enlightened to this with the passing of my beloved cat, Jynx. She died unexpectedly while I was gone. I was very connected to her and after her death I had a vision and knowing of the series of events that lead to her death. She was chased by a coyote, who caught her, shook her, and it was over. I was also became very aware that she was unafraid and was not in any pain. After working with a communicator she confirmed my belief about her death. The gift that we don't experience that kind of suffering brings me much peace about the transition process. The last thing Sugar remembers conciously doing was getting Kathy's attention.
The animals that were present were very aware and knew what was happening. It was beautiful to see them pay their respects to Sugar and the life she led. Sugar brought many gifts with her in this lifetime. She was very self-assured, she knew who she was, she knew her place in the herd, and she was a just leader. I saw the confidence in her and everyone else did too. Lacey, the only mare in the herd other than Sugar, was with Sugar to the very end. Her unwavering support and love brings tears to my eyes. The barns cats paid homage to her and sat by her for awhile after she transitioned. Molly, our dog, felt it was her job to make sure everyone had their 'time' with Sugar. It is amazing how connected we all are. The herd she left behind is not sure what to do without their leader. As a herd, the members rely on each other for direction about when to eat, move, sleep, and so forth. Sugar confidently made the decisions and no one questioned her, ever. I see the remaining herd trying to figure out how to work together now. Lady, my elder mare, is stepping up to provide soft loving, reassuring supportive energy to Kathy's herd. She is helping them to make decisions as a new herd.
I write this with tears in my eyes. Not tears of sadness but of joy and reverence for life. Sugar reminded me that life is precious and through energy we are all connected. I thank Sugar for the opportunity for me to explore these inevitable transitions. She wasn't just an old horse, she is a wise Spirit that continues to confidently support from afar.
I know Kathy is grieving and she is supported by her animals, family, and friends. I was left with questions. Why did I have to be there? Why did she pass away like that? How were the other animals affected by her passing? Shouldn't I feel something more like sadness?
After much reflection and intuitively working with all the animals here in this life I have a better understanding. I was enlightened after I truly understood that death really is just a transition. The soul that embodied the physical is still here but just not in the physical form we grew so accustomed to. We are still connected with the transitioned soul whether we know or not. It is never easy to have a loved one transition, it hurts deeply and can never be replaced. But there is peace in knowing we are all still connected on our soul level.
I was there because I was supposed to be. I was able to be of loving support and assistance in the process. I was grounded and able to focus on what needed to be taken care of with compassion. After feeling upset by the 'why me?' question, I feel thankful that I was there. I personally would not have wanted to be alone and I am glad to be able to have been by Kathy's side. It wasn't about me, it was about what I could do for them.
The beautiful thing we were gifted with is that just before death our Higher Self/Spirit leaves the body. The Spirit no longer feels the pain or fear. There is no suffering in death. I became enlightened to this with the passing of my beloved cat, Jynx. She died unexpectedly while I was gone. I was very connected to her and after her death I had a vision and knowing of the series of events that lead to her death. She was chased by a coyote, who caught her, shook her, and it was over. I was also became very aware that she was unafraid and was not in any pain. After working with a communicator she confirmed my belief about her death. The gift that we don't experience that kind of suffering brings me much peace about the transition process. The last thing Sugar remembers conciously doing was getting Kathy's attention.
The animals that were present were very aware and knew what was happening. It was beautiful to see them pay their respects to Sugar and the life she led. Sugar brought many gifts with her in this lifetime. She was very self-assured, she knew who she was, she knew her place in the herd, and she was a just leader. I saw the confidence in her and everyone else did too. Lacey, the only mare in the herd other than Sugar, was with Sugar to the very end. Her unwavering support and love brings tears to my eyes. The barns cats paid homage to her and sat by her for awhile after she transitioned. Molly, our dog, felt it was her job to make sure everyone had their 'time' with Sugar. It is amazing how connected we all are. The herd she left behind is not sure what to do without their leader. As a herd, the members rely on each other for direction about when to eat, move, sleep, and so forth. Sugar confidently made the decisions and no one questioned her, ever. I see the remaining herd trying to figure out how to work together now. Lady, my elder mare, is stepping up to provide soft loving, reassuring supportive energy to Kathy's herd. She is helping them to make decisions as a new herd.
I write this with tears in my eyes. Not tears of sadness but of joy and reverence for life. Sugar reminded me that life is precious and through energy we are all connected. I thank Sugar for the opportunity for me to explore these inevitable transitions. She wasn't just an old horse, she is a wise Spirit that continues to confidently support from afar.
Welcome!
I am very excited about starting this blog. I love to be able to share experiences and different projects I am working on. This helps give me a voice. It helps me focus my intent on what I am doing and helps give meaning to what I do. Stay tuned!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)