Life has purpose and meaning with so much depth that it takes often a lifetime to truly connect with. I work daily to slow down. I ask myself, how slow must I become to connect? It isn't about slowing down physically to become lazy but rather to slow down our actions, reactions, and thoughts enough to be present in every single moment. When we can be present in the moment, everything is perfect. If everything is perfect then there is no wrong choice or bad answer. Moments simply provide us countless opportunities to see the perfection in everything.
Let me share with you two stories.
A friend and I decided to take her beautiful young Belgian for a walk in the neighborhood. I was on the lead and she was providing support and hopefully learning something from my interaction with her horse that would help her work with her horse outside the boundaries of her pasture. So the stage was set, my friend and her "fear", and me and my need "to be good enough", and the young Belgian who was scared outside of the pasture.
My only advice from my friend was to keep his head to me as he will take his chance to turn and run off. After about 50 ft down the road the big 'B' decided the bugs and the cars and the lack of horse buddies was too much. He began rearing and became belligerent. He would calm for a moment only to turn away again and get upset. We started to walk back, he veered to the side of the road, it happened so quick and then all we saw were four hooves thundering away. I laughed a very frustrated, defeated laugh. He made his way back to and into the barn. Inside waiting for him was my friend's husband and co-worker. They greeted the Belgian with treats, a pat, and a 'you are alright big buddy' phrase. I was not happy.
So to wrap this up the following day my friend called me to let me in her own revelation in the experience and little did she know I had my own as well. It was a beautiful opportunity for both of us to realize that the magnificent Belgian provided us both with a chance to work through our issues. Her with her fear and me with my need to be good enough. What we realized is that there was nothing to be afraid of and we are good enough just the way we are. How silly it seems in hindsight but how we could have avoided so much frustration if we had only been present enough at the time to truly see the perfection in the experience. Hindsight revelation is great but I want to bring my hindsight to the moment of the present so that I can learn in the moment.
Today I learned that a very exciting clinic I will be attending this week will also be attended by Sherry. I have known Sherry for about 4 years now and I was not happy about this news. I was anxious and considered not attending the clinic. Now remember, this is my perception. I feel as though Sherry has a way of wording things that sound supportive but feels more of "I'm right. You're not." I feel she has a way of being smug and condescending but comes off nicely. I realize that she is a good person and truly means well but then why don't I feel supported by her supposedly supportive words.
As I reflected further I realized that part of journey is letting go of worry about judgment from others. I very much care about what others say and generally feel I am being judged, whether I am or not. When I feel I am being judged I become defensive, shut down, and am not my authentic self. I have a hard time being true to who I am and honoring myself. I feel I will become vulnerable to judgment if i allow myself to experience my authentic self.
Even writing this there is that fear of being judged by who will read this. I know that this clinic will be an opportunity to work with that attachment of judgment from others. I think we are all provided opportunities to work with our little gremlins. As much as I don't like this particular gremlin, I know that much can be gain by working with it.
So going back to my Intuition blog, much of it comes through connection in the moment. Connecting in the moment allows us to feel freedom from judgment and attachment, and true peace and love. I will continue to work moment by moment to find this connection to my Spirit that allows me to access deep love and appreciation for all things. Through this connection we provide fuel for our ability to follow our intuition to follow our hearts on life's spiritual journey.
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