This is a bit overdue but definitely has been in the works for awhile. Since I last posted so many wonderful things have transpired. Though not in the way that I was thinking things would.
There are times I question who I am and where I am going and what I am supposed to be doing. I wonder what is my purpose. I trim and love it. I do bodywork and love it. I communicate with the animals and love it. I educate people and love it. Recently a few doors closed on me. I felt a bit confused as to why since it was something that I was very much looking forward to. It would have provided me an education to continue to educate people about how we relate to horses. As all things in this world, there is reason that door closed. Though I don't understand it quite yet.
I sometimes feel like I have many things going on in my life. There are times I feel like I am struggling with committing to an area of study. But with the guidance of Beth (geez, she sure does seem to help me re-center myself often :) she helped me to see that I don't have a 'commitment problem'. I have a 'staying in the moment problem'. See my mind very much likes to worry, analyze, ponder, over rationalize, plan or just meander around. There are times that staying present in the moment is a challenge. I realized that when my mind decides to wander off is when I feel like I am non-committal. However, when I do stay in the present moment I feel very committed to each task at hand. My lesson: stay present in each moment.
Since applying this 'stay present in each moment' awareness (something I have to consciously work at) I have found greater meaning to what I do. I will share with you a recent story. I, a concerned citizen who doesn't like to see animals suffer, stopped by a local place to check on a donkey that appeared to be in great pain. After talking with the owner (I was nervous to confront the owner, was shaking like a leaf and sweating. Lovely, I know.) and expressing my concern for the donkey he hired me to start his rehab (the donkey is foundered and currently going through a bout of laminitis). I am relieved it had gone well but was prepared to walk away knowing I had done what I could to help the donkey. Let me tell you there are in general two types of people in the world. Ones that say "it is just an animal" and ones like me who say "they think, feel, and are deserving of compassion, love, and understanding" My new client falls a bit into both categories. Old school tells him it is just an animal but he actually cares very much about the well-being of the donkey and very much wants to see him find greater comfort. In working with this situation I am proud to say that I am committed to what I believe and stood my ground. I was able to confidently and lovingly stand my ground for the treatment and handling I will and will not tolerate in relation to this donkey. I was able to leave the farm with a clear conscience and know I did my very best in putting my ego aside (the urge to have to get him trimmed today to show I can do it). The donkey is still not trimmed but he and I are becoming fast friends so that he can trust that I will keep him comfortable and safe during the rehab process.
Which brings me to another point. People (myself included) get hung up on labels. Donkeys- stubborn ass, annoying, rude, difficult, pushy. Ponies- defiant, naughty, sassy, difficult. Just to name a few. Well, the more we get hung up on the labels the more we find the labels to create a false truth. If we treat the donkeys as a stubborn ass we will get a stubborn ass to work with. What if the labels were wrong? What if Donkeys were brilliant, intelligent, smart, gentle, willing partners? What if Ponies were loving, sweet, friendly, compliant partners? Well, that would change everything about how we treat donkeys and ponies. I proved in 20 minutes that softness, quietness, and patience will show that a donkey can be soft, supple, willing, sweet, and want to work with me. We should try to stop making things something they are not. Things would go much smoother. Kind of like a knotty, twisted tree is not going to make good lumber and be difficult to chop down but it is a beautiful shade tree that provides shade for us and a home to the birds.
Back to commitments. When we find that we commit to the truth of each moment, set ego, judgment, labels, and opinions aside we find such greater joy, peace, and beauty in the world.
