Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Rolling- Day 15
Today just didn't find time for me to sit with the herd. I was able to enjoy watching the clouds roll by as the weather was coming it. It was soothing and inspiring all at once. I am tired today after a great meditation last night with Asia Voight where she used crystal singing bowls to awaken and rebalance our chakras. I am at peace in knowing that for one day it was simply ok to not connect with my horses on such a deep level. I connect with them every day at varying levels. Today just wasn't a deep or profound connection. They were aggitated by the weather today. It seemed like I needed a day to process the changes in me. The weather seemed to be a clearing of the old and rolling in with the new. It was recharging day for me. I find that I need a day here and there to just sit with myself and be ok with not doing much but just rolling with the flow.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Flying chakras- Day 14
Jack connected with me immediately this morning. He wanted to let me know that he wanted to share with me today. So I sat with him after the poop was all picked up. He showed me how light and floaty I can be. He reminded me that we are physical beings on Earth but we are mostly made up of light and spirit. He then flew off with me on his back. He had suddenly grown wings and was like Pegasus lifting us to the great heights of the universe.
This experience reminds me that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience here on Earth. It is on Earth that we experience our Spirit from a different perspective. I am reminded that we are limitless and that only we get in our own way. We need to learn to step out of our way so that we may soar to great heights. Jack also showed me about balancing my chakras and that each of my horses offers something to each of my chakras. I asked each of them where they supported me and they showed in me in colors. Jack was red- root chakra. Zoe was green- heart chakra. Lady was blue- third eye chakra. And Diva, could you guess (divine), she was purple- crown chakra. I thanked them for their support in all the right places. I gave Diva a good rub and chuckled at her being Divine Diva. And she is soooo Divine. :)
Today was a short lesson from the horses but profound. This evening I also participated in Asia Voight's Meditation Series. The meditation we did tonight was with crystal singing bowls. It was beautiful. I felt each of the bowls vibrations at the different chakras. I felt the energy move up through my body with each singing bowl. The dogs even participated. They were intrigued by the singing bowls and felt uneasy at the throat chakra. There was a need to move by all of us. Then the release came and the energy moved up to the third eye chakra. When we were at the heart chakra I all of a sudden was visited by a gorgeous peacock. The iridescent emerald green from the feathers resonated with me. The peacock then shared at the throat chakra the light blue iridescent color and then at the third eye chakra the stunning cobalt blue of his neck and torso. It was just delightful. Not to mention that the peacock is a symbol of vision and awakening. According to Chinese mythology the feather are a blending of five colors that have a sweet harmony of sound. Very cool!!! After the last singing bowl at the crown chakra all of my chakras began to grow beyond my physical body. They began to spin within my entire being, spiritual and physical. It was so very divine to be able to experience what my spirit body feels like outside of my physical body.
I love how Jack's message of flying to great heights while staying grounded and the chakras tied right in with the meditation tonight and having a peacock share his messages with me.
This experience reminds me that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience here on Earth. It is on Earth that we experience our Spirit from a different perspective. I am reminded that we are limitless and that only we get in our own way. We need to learn to step out of our way so that we may soar to great heights. Jack also showed me about balancing my chakras and that each of my horses offers something to each of my chakras. I asked each of them where they supported me and they showed in me in colors. Jack was red- root chakra. Zoe was green- heart chakra. Lady was blue- third eye chakra. And Diva, could you guess (divine), she was purple- crown chakra. I thanked them for their support in all the right places. I gave Diva a good rub and chuckled at her being Divine Diva. And she is soooo Divine. :)
Today was a short lesson from the horses but profound. This evening I also participated in Asia Voight's Meditation Series. The meditation we did tonight was with crystal singing bowls. It was beautiful. I felt each of the bowls vibrations at the different chakras. I felt the energy move up through my body with each singing bowl. The dogs even participated. They were intrigued by the singing bowls and felt uneasy at the throat chakra. There was a need to move by all of us. Then the release came and the energy moved up to the third eye chakra. When we were at the heart chakra I all of a sudden was visited by a gorgeous peacock. The iridescent emerald green from the feathers resonated with me. The peacock then shared at the throat chakra the light blue iridescent color and then at the third eye chakra the stunning cobalt blue of his neck and torso. It was just delightful. Not to mention that the peacock is a symbol of vision and awakening. According to Chinese mythology the feather are a blending of five colors that have a sweet harmony of sound. Very cool!!! After the last singing bowl at the crown chakra all of my chakras began to grow beyond my physical body. They began to spin within my entire being, spiritual and physical. It was so very divine to be able to experience what my spirit body feels like outside of my physical body.
I love how Jack's message of flying to great heights while staying grounded and the chakras tied right in with the meditation tonight and having a peacock share his messages with me.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Communication is a Two-way Street-Day 13
As I sat with Zoe today, who has made it clear that she wants me to sit with her more often, she enlightened me to the nuances of communication. It is a two-way street. She wanted to move to a pile of hay closer to me but that meant getting next to Jack. This is no problem as he has little authority over her but he at least communicates his distaste for her moving closer. She responds to him by moving away from him a bit more. There I sit with Molly in my lap, Rocket to my right curled like a fox on a flake of hay in the corner of the lean to with Zoe right in front of us, Jack and Lady to each of her flanks. Rocket was aware of his lack of space to move and Molly with disgusted with Lady chewing in her face. I wondered briefly about my safety but realized the horses were very aware of my presence and allowed me enough space to feel safe. My thoughts of concern for my safety were answered with their awareness for their hooves, so they wouldn't step on me or one of the dogs.
I can't count the number of times I have witnessed a human demanding a horse to do something while the horse is flat refusing. The human reprimands the 'bad' behavior and the horse becomes 'sour' and unwilling. This is the epitome of failed communication between horse and human. This situation could be different by the human listening to the horse, maybe he is in pain or confused. This would allow for an adjustment of approach that is able to help the horse want to respond. This is how it should work. Horses want to communicate with us be sometimes we just won't listen. I know I have fallen prey to deaf ears when working with horses in the past. I know that I have pushed without listening to why the horse is responding the way he is. It is my mission to always listen. Listening will create better relationships based on trust and understanding.
Communication comes in all forms- prayers, meditation, verbal, physical, mental, and emotional. We put a message out to the world in hopes someone will answer. Only in listening do we hear the answer. So much of the time we are busy putting the messages out to the world but never bother to listen for a response. We don't always get a response in a way we are hoping for or expecting to. Responses can from from the most unsuspecting places. For instance, I put the message out to the horses that I would like to learn from them and hear their messages. I can put that out there all I want but I must be willing to hear, feel, sense, intuit a response. So every day I get quiet, I rest my mind from all the hoopla of the day and just sit with them. I am patient and wait with no expectation for anything specific to come. Then it seems to float in as a thought and things for the day have a different meaning and perspective for me because of the response I received. Today was communication and all day it has been about sharing my messages but more importantly listening with my whole being for the response.
Horses deeply want to share their wisdom and love with us. We must be able to listen to them in order to hear their messages. It isn't just horses that have something to share with us. Everything in nature speaks to us if we will only listen. The tree I saw get chopped down without regard didn't understand what was happening. The trees ask us to ask them for their messages. They have a voice and are here to reach out to us (branches) and support us(oxygen and roots).
Most times as I write the messages just come flowing through me. These are my interpretations of the messages sent to me that are wanting to be heard and shared. I sit down with the computer and let the words flow through my fingers to the keys and onto the page. Before long I have written something that is lovely, touching, and profound. These messages from the horses through me are sharing that wisdom and love. They want to be heard. They want you to pause in reflection for the messages that you can receive and share with others.
I am convinced more than ever that I need to listen more and talk less. Most of you know that I can be quite verbose. The more I have chosen to listen the less verbose I have become. Words no longer spew out of my mouth but now they flow more slowly and steadily as I feel my audience can hear me because I have listened to their needs and can respond appropriately. So frequently with horses I have just asked and told and begged for them to work for me. Now it is an exchange of communication, they listen, I listen, they send messages, I send messages. It is nothing short of profound the experiences I have with my horses have changed to one of respect, honesty, and trust. The foundation of communication where each side of the party has a chance to share a message and listen to the response and adjust accordingly to work in harmony is beyond profound. Yet it is so simple.
We are in an age of wireless and ever increasing lack of personal contact with those we communicate with. Things are moving faster and faster around us. Things are seemingly starting to frey at the ends with the stress of such a fast moving world. Almost everyone that has taken a moment can feel the tension of coming change. Change is good. Communication that resonates with us on a soul level and speaks from a place of love and understanding will positively impact our lives.
I can't count the number of times I have witnessed a human demanding a horse to do something while the horse is flat refusing. The human reprimands the 'bad' behavior and the horse becomes 'sour' and unwilling. This is the epitome of failed communication between horse and human. This situation could be different by the human listening to the horse, maybe he is in pain or confused. This would allow for an adjustment of approach that is able to help the horse want to respond. This is how it should work. Horses want to communicate with us be sometimes we just won't listen. I know I have fallen prey to deaf ears when working with horses in the past. I know that I have pushed without listening to why the horse is responding the way he is. It is my mission to always listen. Listening will create better relationships based on trust and understanding.
Communication comes in all forms- prayers, meditation, verbal, physical, mental, and emotional. We put a message out to the world in hopes someone will answer. Only in listening do we hear the answer. So much of the time we are busy putting the messages out to the world but never bother to listen for a response. We don't always get a response in a way we are hoping for or expecting to. Responses can from from the most unsuspecting places. For instance, I put the message out to the horses that I would like to learn from them and hear their messages. I can put that out there all I want but I must be willing to hear, feel, sense, intuit a response. So every day I get quiet, I rest my mind from all the hoopla of the day and just sit with them. I am patient and wait with no expectation for anything specific to come. Then it seems to float in as a thought and things for the day have a different meaning and perspective for me because of the response I received. Today was communication and all day it has been about sharing my messages but more importantly listening with my whole being for the response.
Horses deeply want to share their wisdom and love with us. We must be able to listen to them in order to hear their messages. It isn't just horses that have something to share with us. Everything in nature speaks to us if we will only listen. The tree I saw get chopped down without regard didn't understand what was happening. The trees ask us to ask them for their messages. They have a voice and are here to reach out to us (branches) and support us(oxygen and roots).
Most times as I write the messages just come flowing through me. These are my interpretations of the messages sent to me that are wanting to be heard and shared. I sit down with the computer and let the words flow through my fingers to the keys and onto the page. Before long I have written something that is lovely, touching, and profound. These messages from the horses through me are sharing that wisdom and love. They want to be heard. They want you to pause in reflection for the messages that you can receive and share with others.
I am convinced more than ever that I need to listen more and talk less. Most of you know that I can be quite verbose. The more I have chosen to listen the less verbose I have become. Words no longer spew out of my mouth but now they flow more slowly and steadily as I feel my audience can hear me because I have listened to their needs and can respond appropriately. So frequently with horses I have just asked and told and begged for them to work for me. Now it is an exchange of communication, they listen, I listen, they send messages, I send messages. It is nothing short of profound the experiences I have with my horses have changed to one of respect, honesty, and trust. The foundation of communication where each side of the party has a chance to share a message and listen to the response and adjust accordingly to work in harmony is beyond profound. Yet it is so simple.
We are in an age of wireless and ever increasing lack of personal contact with those we communicate with. Things are moving faster and faster around us. Things are seemingly starting to frey at the ends with the stress of such a fast moving world. Almost everyone that has taken a moment can feel the tension of coming change. Change is good. Communication that resonates with us on a soul level and speaks from a place of love and understanding will positively impact our lives.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Light in my life- Day 12
I sit in peaceful silence against the cold lean to. The horses munch contentedly away on their breakfast hay. Molly searches for warmth in my lap. The sun sweeps into the lean to basking it's warmth on everything it touches. In here it is delightful. Out there, the bitter wind whips in torrents around the pasture. It is ready to whisk away anything unsecured. The wind threatens to chill to the bone with an empty coldness. I gladly would stay in here all day.
Zoe munches right in front of me. The light catches her hoof and reflects into my eyes. I realize they are the light in my life.
I realized as a whole everything that the horses (mine and others) have provided in my life. Everything that they have supported me with. Everything they have encouraged me to do. Everything they have made me work for. Everything they have made me live for.
They were there at a young age for me, ever encouraging and supporting me, pushing me to never give up until I got what I wanted. They guided me through loves, break-ups, friendships, school, sports, showing, work, and life in general. They were my tissue when I needed to cry. They pushed me when I thought I couldn't do it. They were my rock when things got tough.
They show me how to persevere when situations get tough and seem like there is no end in sight. They show me how to love unconditionally. They show me how to be gentle and soft. They show me how to forgive. They show me how to bend. They show me that we are intricately connected. They show me their depth for understanding. They show me how to be authentic and believe in myself. They show me the real me when I try to pretend.
They calm my fears, wipe away my tears.
They soothe my anger, soften my pain.
They stir my soul, guide my love.
I am so blessed to have horses as my guide in this life. I am influenced by so many creatures but none stand as noble and resolute for me as the horse does. I have no doubts about the reasons that horses are in my life.
If they have done all this for me, what could I give them in return? I reach out to help all that I can. I provide the best care I can to each horse I work with. I respect each individual one and provide love and understanding to each. I help educate everyone interested about what the horses are here to help us with and how we can better serve them. They are patiently waiting in the wings to be heard by everyone. They support us without us knowing they are they. They are selfless beings capable of transforming this world into a better peaceful place. They gave up everything for us, so that they may be able to carry us to a place of enlightenment.
I am humbled by their love, understanding, honesty, acceptance, and loyalty.
I am forever in their debt.
Zoe munches right in front of me. The light catches her hoof and reflects into my eyes. I realize they are the light in my life.
I realized as a whole everything that the horses (mine and others) have provided in my life. Everything that they have supported me with. Everything they have encouraged me to do. Everything they have made me work for. Everything they have made me live for.
They were there at a young age for me, ever encouraging and supporting me, pushing me to never give up until I got what I wanted. They guided me through loves, break-ups, friendships, school, sports, showing, work, and life in general. They were my tissue when I needed to cry. They pushed me when I thought I couldn't do it. They were my rock when things got tough.
They show me how to persevere when situations get tough and seem like there is no end in sight. They show me how to love unconditionally. They show me how to be gentle and soft. They show me how to forgive. They show me how to bend. They show me that we are intricately connected. They show me their depth for understanding. They show me how to be authentic and believe in myself. They show me the real me when I try to pretend.
They calm my fears, wipe away my tears.
They soothe my anger, soften my pain.
They stir my soul, guide my love.
I am so blessed to have horses as my guide in this life. I am influenced by so many creatures but none stand as noble and resolute for me as the horse does. I have no doubts about the reasons that horses are in my life.
If they have done all this for me, what could I give them in return? I reach out to help all that I can. I provide the best care I can to each horse I work with. I respect each individual one and provide love and understanding to each. I help educate everyone interested about what the horses are here to help us with and how we can better serve them. They are patiently waiting in the wings to be heard by everyone. They support us without us knowing they are they. They are selfless beings capable of transforming this world into a better peaceful place. They gave up everything for us, so that they may be able to carry us to a place of enlightenment.
I am humbled by their love, understanding, honesty, acceptance, and loyalty.
I am forever in their debt.
Honesty= Authenticity- Day 11
I know I have heard the old phrase "Honesty is the best policy" too many times to count. I used to think that it kept me from getting into trouble with my parents. Today it has so much more of a profound meaning to me. The horses showed me today all about being honest from a different perspective.
Being honest with others also means that you need to be honest with yourself. Saying what you believe and believing what you say is honest and authentic.
It was feed time and their meal wasn't quite ready yet. While I waited for it to finish soaking I spent some time with them. They were eager and slightly impatient to have their meal even though they had a bale of hay that was available to them. They all huddled around me, searching for a morsel of grain somewhere on me that would satisfy their craving. Jack thought I was something to be protected and kept the girls just slightly out of reach of me. He felt that he alone should be the one and the only one to receive any morsel I may have. Zoe was able to creep in and she was agitated but not pushy. She searched me all over then in one swift move grabbed my jacket hood and yanked. Not the kind of yank to drop me or drag me, not mean or invading my space. She was simply being honest with me that her tummy was yearning for her meal and I had to bring it to her NOW. I told her soon and she sighed in understanding. Lady waited patiently next to Zoe, waiting for her opportunity to get close to check me for food; as if I may have a hidden morsel just for her that I didn't give to Jack or Zoe. She waited next to me never searching, never yanking, never protecting, just waiting. Diva thought she would woo me with soft nuzzles and warm breath. Diva girl just is a darling.
I think most people would have shooed the horses away, saying they were encroaching their space, that they were being rude and pushy. Never once did my horses cross a boundary that left me feeling cornered or unsafe. They just were letting me know that they were hungry in their individual ways. They didn't skirt around the truth, they didn't sugar coat it (well maybe Diva did a little), they didn't pretend they weren't hungry. They just came right out and let me know in the only way that was possible for them.
When I can be direct and honest with people about how I feel and my beliefs without sacrificing anything that is authentic. Horses do this so naturally when we allow them. We can learn so much about being authentic; lining up our beliefs and what we say to be congruent. Horses set boundaries for themselves everyday that help them survive. They never lie, cheat, pretend, or exaggerate to survive. Surviving is about being honest with their individual needs so they can work cohesively together as a herd and not as individuals. If the herd can survive then each individual can too.
Being authentic has such a liberating feeling. I feel heard, understood, accepted, and trusted. I never feel like I did or said something that betrayed my belief system when I am authentic. I can positively impact my life and those around me when I am congruent with my beliefs and my speech.
Of course to be authentic we do have to slow down and evaluate how we feel and be able to express our beliefs in a clear way. This also means thinking about what we say before we say it (that has not always been easy for me).I have less regrets over what I say because I am authentic. I know that we are all individuals and not everyone will agree with me and that is ok (sometimes hard to allow each their own experiences when I can have such strong beliefs) but again at least I know I was true to my beliefs and allowed myself to be truly heard. Then when I put my honesty out there, it is a relief to me because I know I spoke from my heart and what I said is true for me.
I also think that speaking from the heart is authentic because we speak from a place of love and then no words spoken will ever be intended as mean or hurtful. Everything we say will positively support each other on their individual journey while also supporting our own.
This entire blog is my authentic being. I speak from the heart and this is what I believe. It is through my relationships with my horses, client horses, and horse energy that have allowed me to find my true authentic voice.
Being honest with others also means that you need to be honest with yourself. Saying what you believe and believing what you say is honest and authentic.
It was feed time and their meal wasn't quite ready yet. While I waited for it to finish soaking I spent some time with them. They were eager and slightly impatient to have their meal even though they had a bale of hay that was available to them. They all huddled around me, searching for a morsel of grain somewhere on me that would satisfy their craving. Jack thought I was something to be protected and kept the girls just slightly out of reach of me. He felt that he alone should be the one and the only one to receive any morsel I may have. Zoe was able to creep in and she was agitated but not pushy. She searched me all over then in one swift move grabbed my jacket hood and yanked. Not the kind of yank to drop me or drag me, not mean or invading my space. She was simply being honest with me that her tummy was yearning for her meal and I had to bring it to her NOW. I told her soon and she sighed in understanding. Lady waited patiently next to Zoe, waiting for her opportunity to get close to check me for food; as if I may have a hidden morsel just for her that I didn't give to Jack or Zoe. She waited next to me never searching, never yanking, never protecting, just waiting. Diva thought she would woo me with soft nuzzles and warm breath. Diva girl just is a darling.
I think most people would have shooed the horses away, saying they were encroaching their space, that they were being rude and pushy. Never once did my horses cross a boundary that left me feeling cornered or unsafe. They just were letting me know that they were hungry in their individual ways. They didn't skirt around the truth, they didn't sugar coat it (well maybe Diva did a little), they didn't pretend they weren't hungry. They just came right out and let me know in the only way that was possible for them.
When I can be direct and honest with people about how I feel and my beliefs without sacrificing anything that is authentic. Horses do this so naturally when we allow them. We can learn so much about being authentic; lining up our beliefs and what we say to be congruent. Horses set boundaries for themselves everyday that help them survive. They never lie, cheat, pretend, or exaggerate to survive. Surviving is about being honest with their individual needs so they can work cohesively together as a herd and not as individuals. If the herd can survive then each individual can too.
Being authentic has such a liberating feeling. I feel heard, understood, accepted, and trusted. I never feel like I did or said something that betrayed my belief system when I am authentic. I can positively impact my life and those around me when I am congruent with my beliefs and my speech.
Of course to be authentic we do have to slow down and evaluate how we feel and be able to express our beliefs in a clear way. This also means thinking about what we say before we say it (that has not always been easy for me).I have less regrets over what I say because I am authentic. I know that we are all individuals and not everyone will agree with me and that is ok (sometimes hard to allow each their own experiences when I can have such strong beliefs) but again at least I know I was true to my beliefs and allowed myself to be truly heard. Then when I put my honesty out there, it is a relief to me because I know I spoke from my heart and what I said is true for me.
I also think that speaking from the heart is authentic because we speak from a place of love and then no words spoken will ever be intended as mean or hurtful. Everything we say will positively support each other on their individual journey while also supporting our own.
This entire blog is my authentic being. I speak from the heart and this is what I believe. It is through my relationships with my horses, client horses, and horse energy that have allowed me to find my true authentic voice.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Personality Profile from the Horse- Day 10
The horses brought to light for me the profound effect our personalities have on our horses. Horses have chosen to live a life next to humans and it is no wonder to me that our companions would exhibit personalities that are quite similar to our own. I think people recognize this more easily in dogs and I can tell you for sure that almost any animal (dog, cat, bird, horses, etc.) that is closely linked with a human will have similar personalities.
My four horses are a direct and honest reflection of who I am. I believe they have chosen to reflect back to us our traits in order to help us learn and grow to a place more in line with our spiritual selves.
Lady shows me how seriously I can take life and that I am connected to higher consciousness. She also shows me how to set judgement aside and be the best I can be for everyone that I meet.
Jack shows me that I have a need to make sure everything is OK and under control. He also shows me that I tend to over react a little bit when I get caught up with emotions. He also shows me it is good to lighten up and have a good time. He teaches me how to listen.
Zoe shows me what it means to be a good leader. She also shows me what happens when I get caught up in the ego and how it will affect my leadership abilities. She shows me the way to staying connected to my being while also connected to higher consciousness.
Diva shows me how to be a light as a butterfly and as stunningly simple and yet profound as wildflower. She is my soulful, sensitive, charismatic guide. She reminds me to lighten up in my physical body and stay flexible mentally and physically.
Profound. They sum up all parts of who I am and show me areas where I can learn. I am so blessed that they have shown a light in my life and have helped to illuminate the being that I am. When I am with them and ask for help and get quiet enough to listen they are always ready and waiting to show me the way.
This is day 10 (actually yesterday was but I am keeping up with the daily connections just not alys getting to write right away) and so far everything they have shown me is awe inspiring, lovely, and honest.
My four horses are a direct and honest reflection of who I am. I believe they have chosen to reflect back to us our traits in order to help us learn and grow to a place more in line with our spiritual selves.
Lady shows me how seriously I can take life and that I am connected to higher consciousness. She also shows me how to set judgement aside and be the best I can be for everyone that I meet.
Jack shows me that I have a need to make sure everything is OK and under control. He also shows me that I tend to over react a little bit when I get caught up with emotions. He also shows me it is good to lighten up and have a good time. He teaches me how to listen.
Zoe shows me what it means to be a good leader. She also shows me what happens when I get caught up in the ego and how it will affect my leadership abilities. She shows me the way to staying connected to my being while also connected to higher consciousness.
Diva shows me how to be a light as a butterfly and as stunningly simple and yet profound as wildflower. She is my soulful, sensitive, charismatic guide. She reminds me to lighten up in my physical body and stay flexible mentally and physically.
Profound. They sum up all parts of who I am and show me areas where I can learn. I am so blessed that they have shown a light in my life and have helped to illuminate the being that I am. When I am with them and ask for help and get quiet enough to listen they are always ready and waiting to show me the way.
This is day 10 (actually yesterday was but I am keeping up with the daily connections just not alys getting to write right away) and so far everything they have shown me is awe inspiring, lovely, and honest.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Just Being- Day 9
What does that mean? To just be. Today as I went through my daily chores with the horses I found myself completely immersed in the moment. There was no big message for the day but when I realized that I may not have something to write about it occurred to me that there was plenty to write about in 'just being'.
Just being not doing is what the horses are all about. They just be what they are in every moment. They don't worry about getting things done, they don't stress the small stuff. They just eat their hay, then get a drink, maybe a quick, poop then back to hay..ooo 'mom' came to take me for a walk today. They don't worry about what may happen or try to plan their day. They just roll with the flow as each moment passes and live in each one of those moments. They try to make the most logical choice in each moment that allows them the best possible outcome.
How often do we get caught up in the 'to do' list? How often are we working on the 'to do' list and still wondering about other things that need to get done? How many of us will drive for awhile only to realize that they don't remember driving through an area? Classic example of our brains doing multiple things at once and not just being in each moment. When I work with the horses, I don't fear for getting stepped on, kicked, or bitten. I simply stay present in each moment and make choices either consciously or subconsciously that will keep me and the horse safe. Chances are if I worried about getting stepped on I would probably get stepped on. Instead, I just be in each moment and in this present minded awareness I am generally able to stay safe. Accidents can and do happen every day. We can't always control that but we can control how we deal with the experience. We can choose to be in the moment and see the bigger picture, maybe find peace or forgiveness for the situation, instead of being filled with anger or blame or pity.
Just being is such a freeing experience. We are able to take all things in at once, without thought, and just allow each experience to unfold as it may. All the choices will become clear to us when it is necessary for us to make a choice. Don't worry about whether you might have a bad ride. Prepare in each moment as necessary and when the time comes make the choices that will have the best possible outcome. Worrying about a bad ride will only send negative thoughts out and your worry will upset your horse. Relax, trust each moment. If you do have a less than desirable ride, it is OK. Don't blame the horse, don't get upset. Just allow yourself to see the big picture and see how you may have influenced it. Maybe there was a brilliant lesson to learn in that ride. Chances are if you had been in the moment, by just being, you would have had more information in order to have made different choices that would have led to a better ride. Let me share a couple quick stories.
Jack is a challenging one on occasion to ride away from the farm. He gets concerned quickly and gets overwhelmed. I have learned to listen from the moment I get him from the pasture to ride. I don't worry about the ride ( I generally know what to expect). I stay in each moment with Jack, allowing him to realize that I am fully here in each moment to support his needs. The moment I begin to wonder about the potential ride, he gets concerned. So I come right back to the present moment and just be with him. We calmly and mindfully go through the process of putting on tack. Some times I walk him out to the field to mount, other times I mount by the barn. What ever is best in each moment is what I do for him. During the ride I can feel his anxiety start to escalate. Instead of trying to force him to calm down. I simply get off. He looks at me as if he realizes that I heard him and relaxes when he knows I am here to support him and help him to feel safe. I usually re-mount and the ride is much smoother. If I were too busy worrying about what might happen or trying to force focus he would most likely blow up and leave me in the dirt.
Another example is Molly. Our ever vigilant, hyper-sensitive dog who goes over the top easily. When people come to the house, it is easy to get sucked into the trap of welcoming a guest apologizing for the dog and trying to get the dog to 'just calm down'. We get nervous or frustrated or embarrassed. This typically escalates the problem. What we do is welcome the guest, tell them we will be with them in a moment and make themselves comfortable. The whole time we are aware of Molly's needs and rewarding the correct behavior with treats and praise. We ask Molly to do a few simple things to bring her focus back to us and realize that she is safe and can relax. Again, we reward each try with treats and praise. Before long she has relaxed and is OK with a visitor. There is no more apologizing because we have been able to redirect her energy and our guests are informed that her needs come first. There is no frustration or embarrassment because we are tending to the need of the moment, which is Molly. When we start over thinking and worrying about the guest and forgetting about the dog, that is the more pressing matter here, we are not being fully present in the moment. The choices we can make in each moment will change the outcome for a more desired result.
To be able to just be is liberating. We don't judge, criticize, worry, fear, develop anxiety or nervousness. We just are and when we just are we are able to see the big picture and make clear, informed choices. Happiness abounds in each moment that we are able to just be.
Wow and I as worried that I wasn't sure I had anything to write. That is what is brilliant about letting go and being in each moment. I was able to just write and the words just flowed through me effortlessly. Super cool!
Just being not doing is what the horses are all about. They just be what they are in every moment. They don't worry about getting things done, they don't stress the small stuff. They just eat their hay, then get a drink, maybe a quick, poop then back to hay..ooo 'mom' came to take me for a walk today. They don't worry about what may happen or try to plan their day. They just roll with the flow as each moment passes and live in each one of those moments. They try to make the most logical choice in each moment that allows them the best possible outcome.
How often do we get caught up in the 'to do' list? How often are we working on the 'to do' list and still wondering about other things that need to get done? How many of us will drive for awhile only to realize that they don't remember driving through an area? Classic example of our brains doing multiple things at once and not just being in each moment. When I work with the horses, I don't fear for getting stepped on, kicked, or bitten. I simply stay present in each moment and make choices either consciously or subconsciously that will keep me and the horse safe. Chances are if I worried about getting stepped on I would probably get stepped on. Instead, I just be in each moment and in this present minded awareness I am generally able to stay safe. Accidents can and do happen every day. We can't always control that but we can control how we deal with the experience. We can choose to be in the moment and see the bigger picture, maybe find peace or forgiveness for the situation, instead of being filled with anger or blame or pity.
Just being is such a freeing experience. We are able to take all things in at once, without thought, and just allow each experience to unfold as it may. All the choices will become clear to us when it is necessary for us to make a choice. Don't worry about whether you might have a bad ride. Prepare in each moment as necessary and when the time comes make the choices that will have the best possible outcome. Worrying about a bad ride will only send negative thoughts out and your worry will upset your horse. Relax, trust each moment. If you do have a less than desirable ride, it is OK. Don't blame the horse, don't get upset. Just allow yourself to see the big picture and see how you may have influenced it. Maybe there was a brilliant lesson to learn in that ride. Chances are if you had been in the moment, by just being, you would have had more information in order to have made different choices that would have led to a better ride. Let me share a couple quick stories.
Jack is a challenging one on occasion to ride away from the farm. He gets concerned quickly and gets overwhelmed. I have learned to listen from the moment I get him from the pasture to ride. I don't worry about the ride ( I generally know what to expect). I stay in each moment with Jack, allowing him to realize that I am fully here in each moment to support his needs. The moment I begin to wonder about the potential ride, he gets concerned. So I come right back to the present moment and just be with him. We calmly and mindfully go through the process of putting on tack. Some times I walk him out to the field to mount, other times I mount by the barn. What ever is best in each moment is what I do for him. During the ride I can feel his anxiety start to escalate. Instead of trying to force him to calm down. I simply get off. He looks at me as if he realizes that I heard him and relaxes when he knows I am here to support him and help him to feel safe. I usually re-mount and the ride is much smoother. If I were too busy worrying about what might happen or trying to force focus he would most likely blow up and leave me in the dirt.
Another example is Molly. Our ever vigilant, hyper-sensitive dog who goes over the top easily. When people come to the house, it is easy to get sucked into the trap of welcoming a guest apologizing for the dog and trying to get the dog to 'just calm down'. We get nervous or frustrated or embarrassed. This typically escalates the problem. What we do is welcome the guest, tell them we will be with them in a moment and make themselves comfortable. The whole time we are aware of Molly's needs and rewarding the correct behavior with treats and praise. We ask Molly to do a few simple things to bring her focus back to us and realize that she is safe and can relax. Again, we reward each try with treats and praise. Before long she has relaxed and is OK with a visitor. There is no more apologizing because we have been able to redirect her energy and our guests are informed that her needs come first. There is no frustration or embarrassment because we are tending to the need of the moment, which is Molly. When we start over thinking and worrying about the guest and forgetting about the dog, that is the more pressing matter here, we are not being fully present in the moment. The choices we can make in each moment will change the outcome for a more desired result.
To be able to just be is liberating. We don't judge, criticize, worry, fear, develop anxiety or nervousness. We just are and when we just are we are able to see the big picture and make clear, informed choices. Happiness abounds in each moment that we are able to just be.
Wow and I as worried that I wasn't sure I had anything to write. That is what is brilliant about letting go and being in each moment. I was able to just write and the words just flowed through me effortlessly. Super cool!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Muzzles and Hands- Day 8
As I sat watching Lady eat her morning meal I had this sudden awareness about how sensitive and communicative her muzzle was. I started to realize the parallels between a horse's muzzle and our hands. Let me explain.
Our hands let us experience so many things. Our first experience of holding hands when we reached out as an infant and grabbed mom's finger with our tiny little hand. We experienced the delight in playing with and smashing our food on our plates. Our hand let us open doors to new possibilities, drive cars to exciting destinations. Our hands communicate our needs through their actions. We connect with other beings through our hands. We shake hands upon greeting. We convey our anger, frustration, joy and love with our hands. We experience all sorts of things with our hands...typing, writing, riding horses, grooming horses, picking up manure, tending a wound, caressing a lover, cooking a meal, helping a friend, gardening, eating, throwing a ball, getting dressed, taking a shower, sweeping the floor, scrubbing a toilet, doing the laundry, saving a life.
The list goes on and on for the things we do and experience with our hands. They are like sensory receptors, they let us know so much about us and our environment. They are propelled by our Chi and our Chi is sustained by our breath. Without breath there is no life.
The muzzle of a horse is so much like our hands. The muzzle is where breath enters the body and gives them life. The muzzle allows them to find food. The muzzle is incredibly dexterous as it can pick through all the feed and only pick out the small savory morsels they want to eat. They can eat all their food and leave behind the tiny little pills we tried to hide in there to get them to eat without noticing. They nuzzle each other for comfort and encouragement. A foal experiences the wonders of his muzzle for the first time when he nurses from his mom. He learns all about his environment through is muzzle. It teaches him about prickly things, super soft things, tasty things, and icky things. They are able to exchange in mutual grooming, communicate softly with warm whispers, give a quick nip for correction. Their muzzles let us know if they are worried, relaxed, interested, or tense.
It is no wonder that people would want to communicate with a horse via contact with the muzzle, either through use of a bit or bitless. People innately want to reach out their hands and touch that velvety nose. People want to give and receive horsey kisses with their cherished companion. Horse reach to us with their muzzles to grab a zipper pull, check a pocket for a treat, or melt us with their sweet breath. Everytime we use a bit we should remember to gently communicate with each other. Communication is imperative to relationships. No one human or animal, wants the bear sting of poor communication. When I ride I want to not only feel the reins in my hands but also the energy that travels through my hands, down the reins, and to the mouth and conversely I want to feel the horse's physical connection to the bit, and the energy he sends to my hands through the reins. This exchange can happen with, bit, bitless, halter and lead rope, cordeo, or no tack at all.
Nothing energizes my spirit faster than a warm breath in my hair and a soft nuzzle to my hair. The soft return of energy is given back in that stroke of my hand on the neck and enveloping hug. That is bliss.
Our hands let us experience so many things. Our first experience of holding hands when we reached out as an infant and grabbed mom's finger with our tiny little hand. We experienced the delight in playing with and smashing our food on our plates. Our hand let us open doors to new possibilities, drive cars to exciting destinations. Our hands communicate our needs through their actions. We connect with other beings through our hands. We shake hands upon greeting. We convey our anger, frustration, joy and love with our hands. We experience all sorts of things with our hands...typing, writing, riding horses, grooming horses, picking up manure, tending a wound, caressing a lover, cooking a meal, helping a friend, gardening, eating, throwing a ball, getting dressed, taking a shower, sweeping the floor, scrubbing a toilet, doing the laundry, saving a life.
The list goes on and on for the things we do and experience with our hands. They are like sensory receptors, they let us know so much about us and our environment. They are propelled by our Chi and our Chi is sustained by our breath. Without breath there is no life.
The muzzle of a horse is so much like our hands. The muzzle is where breath enters the body and gives them life. The muzzle allows them to find food. The muzzle is incredibly dexterous as it can pick through all the feed and only pick out the small savory morsels they want to eat. They can eat all their food and leave behind the tiny little pills we tried to hide in there to get them to eat without noticing. They nuzzle each other for comfort and encouragement. A foal experiences the wonders of his muzzle for the first time when he nurses from his mom. He learns all about his environment through is muzzle. It teaches him about prickly things, super soft things, tasty things, and icky things. They are able to exchange in mutual grooming, communicate softly with warm whispers, give a quick nip for correction. Their muzzles let us know if they are worried, relaxed, interested, or tense.
It is no wonder that people would want to communicate with a horse via contact with the muzzle, either through use of a bit or bitless. People innately want to reach out their hands and touch that velvety nose. People want to give and receive horsey kisses with their cherished companion. Horse reach to us with their muzzles to grab a zipper pull, check a pocket for a treat, or melt us with their sweet breath. Everytime we use a bit we should remember to gently communicate with each other. Communication is imperative to relationships. No one human or animal, wants the bear sting of poor communication. When I ride I want to not only feel the reins in my hands but also the energy that travels through my hands, down the reins, and to the mouth and conversely I want to feel the horse's physical connection to the bit, and the energy he sends to my hands through the reins. This exchange can happen with, bit, bitless, halter and lead rope, cordeo, or no tack at all.
Nothing energizes my spirit faster than a warm breath in my hair and a soft nuzzle to my hair. The soft return of energy is given back in that stroke of my hand on the neck and enveloping hug. That is bliss.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I am enough-Day 7
After spending some quality time with my herd, yet again, they reminded me that 'I am enough'. I don't need to impress anyone. I don't need to take on more than I can handle just to prove I can do it. I don't need to save every life in this world. I don't need to be anyone other than me. Who would I be if I weren't me anyways?
The decision to take on a new horse had left me very reflective and spending time with my herd always helps to clear things up. They let me see that I am perfect in just who I am. I am perfect with the family- four legged, two legged, and feathered. They all accept me for who I am. I don't need to pretend to be something I am not. I enjoy helping animals and providing the best I can for them. It is challenging to see a situation from other perspectives. Just because I have chosen to not take on this horse doesn't mean I am a failure, that I don't care, or that his life is doomed. I want what is best for him. More importantly I need to trust my intuition, and create and maintain healthy boundaries.
In knowing that I am enough I need to set healthy boundaries. I acknowledge the need to help others but also when to respect my needs in life. If I am constantly giving of myself while not respecting my own boundaries what does that leave me with? I want to be 100% for every being that I give to and I can't do that if I have over stepped my boundaries. Boundaries allow us to stay safe and evaluate the unknown from a place where we are confident and secure. As we grow we expand those boundaries, one step at a time. Busting blindly through boundaries can set us up for failure if we aren't ready for what is on the other side. Slowly allowing our boundaries to ebb and flow as necessary to allow us to grow in a safe space is rewarding and comfortable.
What does it mean 'to be enough'? To me it means that I am perfect in this moment, exactly where I am right now. It means I don't need anything else externally to feel good about myself, or to change my belief in myself to help others and make a positive difference. I am content with right where I am and I will get where ever I am going when ever I get there.
From my horses when I asked them if we should add another horse to the herd -"Aren't we enough?" Which got me thinking....Well.... yes, they are enough. I have said before there is very little that my horses can't help me learn when the time arrives for me to learn. They are diverse in their beings and abilities to communicate with me. If we are always looking for something more for where we are, are we ever truly satisfied with where we are? Probably not. Could I learn something new from a new horse? Absolutely. We can always learn. But right now, I am content with my herd and confident in our relationships that we have lots of learning yet to do. I am comfortable knowing that the lessons I am to learn will come to me when I and they(the lessons) are ready. For now, I just am...whatever that may be... and I am enough.
The decision to take on a new horse had left me very reflective and spending time with my herd always helps to clear things up. They let me see that I am perfect in just who I am. I am perfect with the family- four legged, two legged, and feathered. They all accept me for who I am. I don't need to pretend to be something I am not. I enjoy helping animals and providing the best I can for them. It is challenging to see a situation from other perspectives. Just because I have chosen to not take on this horse doesn't mean I am a failure, that I don't care, or that his life is doomed. I want what is best for him. More importantly I need to trust my intuition, and create and maintain healthy boundaries.
In knowing that I am enough I need to set healthy boundaries. I acknowledge the need to help others but also when to respect my needs in life. If I am constantly giving of myself while not respecting my own boundaries what does that leave me with? I want to be 100% for every being that I give to and I can't do that if I have over stepped my boundaries. Boundaries allow us to stay safe and evaluate the unknown from a place where we are confident and secure. As we grow we expand those boundaries, one step at a time. Busting blindly through boundaries can set us up for failure if we aren't ready for what is on the other side. Slowly allowing our boundaries to ebb and flow as necessary to allow us to grow in a safe space is rewarding and comfortable.
What does it mean 'to be enough'? To me it means that I am perfect in this moment, exactly where I am right now. It means I don't need anything else externally to feel good about myself, or to change my belief in myself to help others and make a positive difference. I am content with right where I am and I will get where ever I am going when ever I get there.
From my horses when I asked them if we should add another horse to the herd -"Aren't we enough?" Which got me thinking....Well.... yes, they are enough. I have said before there is very little that my horses can't help me learn when the time arrives for me to learn. They are diverse in their beings and abilities to communicate with me. If we are always looking for something more for where we are, are we ever truly satisfied with where we are? Probably not. Could I learn something new from a new horse? Absolutely. We can always learn. But right now, I am content with my herd and confident in our relationships that we have lots of learning yet to do. I am comfortable knowing that the lessons I am to learn will come to me when I and they(the lessons) are ready. For now, I just am...whatever that may be... and I am enough.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Choices-Day 6
We all always have a choice. You can do nothing, you can do something, or you can make the choice to do neither.
We all make choices every day. Good, bad, right, wrong, or indifferent. I actually feel there are no 'wrong' choices. All choices lead us somewhere we have never been and allow us to experience or learn something new.
The choice to take on another horse is a big one. Not to mention the financial undertaking but the time commitment. I have four horses currently that love me and look forward to our time together. Do I want a fifth horse? Can I afford one? Is my herd able to accept a newcomer? Do I have time? Could I sell him? Can I train him? Is he what I want? All these questions....
In lieu of making a choice to take him or not I have decided to not make a choice right now. I am under no pressure. I don't have to do anything. So until more information comes to me via Universe or otherwise I am not making a decision. And ya know what.... it feels good! And if it feels good...do it!
My heart is a big one and I love to care for animals, help them find homes or care they need. Thank goodness for Shawn to keep me grounded and aware that we only have so much room for so many animals. I go between my heart and my head when faced with a choice to help an animal. Heart says "go all in and help them no matter the cost" and my head says "how, why, can I, should I, how will it affect-horses, dogs, cat, husband, me...??"
Knowing I have a choice to not make a choice is a relief. It doesn't feel like I am avoiding a decision or unable to make a decision. I am choosing the choice that feels good for me right now until I have more information to make a different decision.
This is only day 6 and everyday I have been aware of a different message through the horses. I am so blessed and amazed at how much they really offer to us to learn and grow from.
We all make choices every day. Good, bad, right, wrong, or indifferent. I actually feel there are no 'wrong' choices. All choices lead us somewhere we have never been and allow us to experience or learn something new.
The choice to take on another horse is a big one. Not to mention the financial undertaking but the time commitment. I have four horses currently that love me and look forward to our time together. Do I want a fifth horse? Can I afford one? Is my herd able to accept a newcomer? Do I have time? Could I sell him? Can I train him? Is he what I want? All these questions....
In lieu of making a choice to take him or not I have decided to not make a choice right now. I am under no pressure. I don't have to do anything. So until more information comes to me via Universe or otherwise I am not making a decision. And ya know what.... it feels good! And if it feels good...do it!
My heart is a big one and I love to care for animals, help them find homes or care they need. Thank goodness for Shawn to keep me grounded and aware that we only have so much room for so many animals. I go between my heart and my head when faced with a choice to help an animal. Heart says "go all in and help them no matter the cost" and my head says "how, why, can I, should I, how will it affect-horses, dogs, cat, husband, me...??"
Knowing I have a choice to not make a choice is a relief. It doesn't feel like I am avoiding a decision or unable to make a decision. I am choosing the choice that feels good for me right now until I have more information to make a different decision.
This is only day 6 and everyday I have been aware of a different message through the horses. I am so blessed and amazed at how much they really offer to us to learn and grow from.
Art of Allowing-Day 5
This is coming a day late. I had too much fun with the horses yesterday to come in an write.
Allowing- to permit each experience to be exactly as it is without judgement. This is my definition of allowing. We are all in places where we have a choice to allow the experience to unfold as it may or we can interject out thoughts and opinions. I was shown today how wonderful it is to just allow. When we allow there is no judgement, no attachment, no worry, no fear. When we allow we just are where we are in concert with the unfolding events around us.
It was a beautiful sunny day yesterday and I spent a majority of with my herd. I have decided to exercise Lady again for two reasons-1) Help her muscles to better support her frame and 2) with the possibility of being my riding partner once again. To get in her shape she will be ponied along on rides. Today was day one and she, Jack, and I were going on a ride. It was lovely. Jack enjoyed the company so he didn't have to worry about the Bogey Man, Lady enjoyed exploring, and I enjoyed both of their company. We rode down our very long driveway. Jack feels safe on the driveway- trees hugging the driveway as if they were sentries. We were relaxed and happy. My mother-in-law decided to join us with Lacey. We took our ride out to the 20 acre corn field. I didn't realize until today how much Jack feels vulnerable out in the open. It is too much for him to handle sometimes. Today was no exception. This was our first ride with Lady and he doesn't usually go out with Lacey. I could feel his nervousness radiate within me. I dismounted to help provide a calmed experience and allow Jack the opportunity to relax and reconnect. He regained his composure and I remounted. We went for a ways and I could feel it creeping up again. His anxiety and inability to stay present with me were starting to take over. I wanted to get to the top of the hill and I would dismount to take him back to the barn. I knew I needed to dismount but wanted to just...get...there. That is when Jack decided that bucking and launching sideways was the only way I was going to listen. After he calmed himself for a moment I dismounted yet again. No anger, no frustration, no nothing, it just was. I knew that he was only trying to tell me that he could no longer handle the situation, that was how he chose to tell me after I didn't listen to the whispers. My mother-in-law made a few comments to Jack's behavior and I felt she thought my horses were nuts. I could care less what she thought of my horses.
Jack needed me to listen to him and I did (albeit after a few bucks). Most people would judge me for getting off and especially for dismounting after a bucking session. Most people would tell me to work that horse, that is he disobedient, that he is naughty. He is the farthest thing from disobedient and naughty. Jack had a rough start, a few negatively impressionable experiences, some physical setbacks, and his behavior yesterday was completely warranted. He wouldn't hurt a fly and he has the kindest soul. He has been a robot for too long and his is just expressing his opinion. I welcome his opinions and allow him the experiences he is having without judgement. I simply support him when and where I can. He tries to tell me what is happening, and I try hard to listen, some days I understand faster than others, today I was a bit slow on the uptake. If I punished him for bucking I would have ultimately been telling him "You don't have a choice, a voice, and I don't care if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable". I promised Jack not to long ago that I will always give him a choice, a voice, and I will care for his feelings and his physical needs. He deserves someone that is compassionate to his needs and will allow him the experiences he is having.
When I allow my horses to have a choice, a voice, and emotions I am at peace. When I allow my horses to ahve their experiences I am calm and grounded. I pass no judgement, I do not fear, I don't try to over-intellectualize. I just am. When I am in the place of allowing it feels like I am connected on such a spiritual level to all beings. We are each in our own place on our own journey shaped by our own experiences, emotions, and enviroment. When we allow each other to have our own journey that is unique to us we are able to come from a place of love and understanding for all things.
Allowing- to permit each experience to be exactly as it is without judgement. This is my definition of allowing. We are all in places where we have a choice to allow the experience to unfold as it may or we can interject out thoughts and opinions. I was shown today how wonderful it is to just allow. When we allow there is no judgement, no attachment, no worry, no fear. When we allow we just are where we are in concert with the unfolding events around us.
It was a beautiful sunny day yesterday and I spent a majority of with my herd. I have decided to exercise Lady again for two reasons-1) Help her muscles to better support her frame and 2) with the possibility of being my riding partner once again. To get in her shape she will be ponied along on rides. Today was day one and she, Jack, and I were going on a ride. It was lovely. Jack enjoyed the company so he didn't have to worry about the Bogey Man, Lady enjoyed exploring, and I enjoyed both of their company. We rode down our very long driveway. Jack feels safe on the driveway- trees hugging the driveway as if they were sentries. We were relaxed and happy. My mother-in-law decided to join us with Lacey. We took our ride out to the 20 acre corn field. I didn't realize until today how much Jack feels vulnerable out in the open. It is too much for him to handle sometimes. Today was no exception. This was our first ride with Lady and he doesn't usually go out with Lacey. I could feel his nervousness radiate within me. I dismounted to help provide a calmed experience and allow Jack the opportunity to relax and reconnect. He regained his composure and I remounted. We went for a ways and I could feel it creeping up again. His anxiety and inability to stay present with me were starting to take over. I wanted to get to the top of the hill and I would dismount to take him back to the barn. I knew I needed to dismount but wanted to just...get...there. That is when Jack decided that bucking and launching sideways was the only way I was going to listen. After he calmed himself for a moment I dismounted yet again. No anger, no frustration, no nothing, it just was. I knew that he was only trying to tell me that he could no longer handle the situation, that was how he chose to tell me after I didn't listen to the whispers. My mother-in-law made a few comments to Jack's behavior and I felt she thought my horses were nuts. I could care less what she thought of my horses.
Jack needed me to listen to him and I did (albeit after a few bucks). Most people would judge me for getting off and especially for dismounting after a bucking session. Most people would tell me to work that horse, that is he disobedient, that he is naughty. He is the farthest thing from disobedient and naughty. Jack had a rough start, a few negatively impressionable experiences, some physical setbacks, and his behavior yesterday was completely warranted. He wouldn't hurt a fly and he has the kindest soul. He has been a robot for too long and his is just expressing his opinion. I welcome his opinions and allow him the experiences he is having without judgement. I simply support him when and where I can. He tries to tell me what is happening, and I try hard to listen, some days I understand faster than others, today I was a bit slow on the uptake. If I punished him for bucking I would have ultimately been telling him "You don't have a choice, a voice, and I don't care if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable". I promised Jack not to long ago that I will always give him a choice, a voice, and I will care for his feelings and his physical needs. He deserves someone that is compassionate to his needs and will allow him the experiences he is having.
When I allow my horses to have a choice, a voice, and emotions I am at peace. When I allow my horses to ahve their experiences I am calm and grounded. I pass no judgement, I do not fear, I don't try to over-intellectualize. I just am. When I am in the place of allowing it feels like I am connected on such a spiritual level to all beings. We are each in our own place on our own journey shaped by our own experiences, emotions, and enviroment. When we allow each other to have our own journey that is unique to us we are able to come from a place of love and understanding for all things.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Acceptance- Day 4
Ahhh....that is what it feels like! So far this pledge has been an inspiring one for me. Everyday I sit with my horses and be open to any messages they have for me. So far the messages haven't been glaringly obvious but as I navigate through my day the messages become apparent. It is like being showered with little gifts of remembrance all day long. Today was acceptance.
I went to the barn this morning to feed the four legged kids as usual. I was planning on my day going something like this- feed horses, pick up manure, go to bank, come back to the barn, ride one of my beauties, go to a movie, and make a wonderful flank steak for my husband and me. Upon arrival at the barn I discover that the game farm next door was doing a morning hunt. Now my horses are used to the guns, dogs, and orange bodies prowling the prairie but they still flinch when they shoot. I thought "No way am I getting on my horse with them shooting nearby". I wanted a pleasant ride with no gunshots. I have been working hard to make my rides with Jack relaxing and peaceful. Gunshots would not help us relax.
While I was picking up the poop I started to feel sorry for the birds being hunted. I felt they were scared and didn't understand. I took one look at my herd and realized that all was well and as it should be. I was overcome with acceptance- for the birds, the hunters, the dogs, myself, and my herd. I knew we were all where we are supposed to be in life and have different lessons to learn. Who was I to say that there wasn't something to be learned from this hunt? Isn't it just a matter of perspective anyways? My perspective is defined by my and only my experiences and beliefs in life. We are all individually defined by our experiences, beliefs, and environment and we are bound to have different perspectives. No one in this world has had the same life as me; my perspective is unique to me. Being that we all are unique I would have to accept each of our perspectives. What I may not feel to be right may feel right to someone else. Letting go of the attachment that something should be a certain way because that is what I know to me true is liberating. I realized that I no longer had to worry about them. I just needed to worry about me. I can't control them but I can control me. And I am choosing to find acceptance in my heart for something that doesn't seem fair to me. It also shows me something about humility- to not think I am above the hunters because I think hunting on a game farm with planted birds is wrong.
To keep the ball of acceptance rolling- I did end up going for a ride after they finished hunting. Jack and I set out with Shawn and Diva close behind. Jack tends to get amped on rides near the farm. He can get to a point where he just blows up and has to get back to check on the rest of the herd in the pasture. I have tried everything in the past from getting frustrated and disciplining him, to ignoring it, to just avoiding it. Today I was in this place of acceptance for what ever would happen. It was beautiful. He started out excited and did well. About 1/3 of the way through the ride I felt his body tense, his awareness drift away from me and to his herd mates, and he started to fade away in his listening. I got off him. He kinda looked at me like "What are you doing down there?" It was awesome, he just put his head down and walked off with me. I think it brought his mind back to me and questioned what I was doing. He was a rockstar! I walked with him until he came back to me and his awareness was back in his body and listening to my aids and then I got back on. He walked on a loose rein, relaxed for the majority of the rest of the ride. It was brilliant. By being in a place of acceptance for what ever happened with him and not trying to force a ride, we had a lovely ride. He trusted that I would honor his emotional state and felt confident in my actions to guide him. I was completely absorbed in the moment with him and nothing else mattered except for accepting who he was and where he was in this moment. We both communicated with each other so well I would call it a dance.
As today's lessons were about acceptance I would also like to share my experience from last night. It is who I am and is very much a part of me that to not share it would almost feel like I am denying that part of me. I accept this is who I am and am willing to share it. I woke last night parched. It was 3:20am and I went to the kitchen for water. Upon arriving in the kitchen I was greeted by Kato, he is a spirit guide of mine, a black bear. He comes to me when I need him and usually not when I am expecting. We talked of my frustrations at unfairness and death, he told me that it is with humility and kindness he allows each situation it's own experience. I remembered that I was having a hard time in Tai Chi with a warm up practice called The Bear. I asked Kato if he could show me any insights for this practice. It was brilliant. So there in the kitchen I did the The Bear with my bear Kato. It was soo cool! I had a new found sense of how the motion is supposed to flow after working with him. Again, it was so cool! I was so happy and thankful for our visit last night.
It is with acceptance of this part of me that I shared that story. I am trying to hold no expectations for my encounters with spirits or my guides. I welcome their insight in my life. We all have teachers patiently waiting to be heard and ever ready to lend a hand when asked for. Thank you to all my teachers for all the lessons you have shared with me.
I went to the barn this morning to feed the four legged kids as usual. I was planning on my day going something like this- feed horses, pick up manure, go to bank, come back to the barn, ride one of my beauties, go to a movie, and make a wonderful flank steak for my husband and me. Upon arrival at the barn I discover that the game farm next door was doing a morning hunt. Now my horses are used to the guns, dogs, and orange bodies prowling the prairie but they still flinch when they shoot. I thought "No way am I getting on my horse with them shooting nearby". I wanted a pleasant ride with no gunshots. I have been working hard to make my rides with Jack relaxing and peaceful. Gunshots would not help us relax.
While I was picking up the poop I started to feel sorry for the birds being hunted. I felt they were scared and didn't understand. I took one look at my herd and realized that all was well and as it should be. I was overcome with acceptance- for the birds, the hunters, the dogs, myself, and my herd. I knew we were all where we are supposed to be in life and have different lessons to learn. Who was I to say that there wasn't something to be learned from this hunt? Isn't it just a matter of perspective anyways? My perspective is defined by my and only my experiences and beliefs in life. We are all individually defined by our experiences, beliefs, and environment and we are bound to have different perspectives. No one in this world has had the same life as me; my perspective is unique to me. Being that we all are unique I would have to accept each of our perspectives. What I may not feel to be right may feel right to someone else. Letting go of the attachment that something should be a certain way because that is what I know to me true is liberating. I realized that I no longer had to worry about them. I just needed to worry about me. I can't control them but I can control me. And I am choosing to find acceptance in my heart for something that doesn't seem fair to me. It also shows me something about humility- to not think I am above the hunters because I think hunting on a game farm with planted birds is wrong.
To keep the ball of acceptance rolling- I did end up going for a ride after they finished hunting. Jack and I set out with Shawn and Diva close behind. Jack tends to get amped on rides near the farm. He can get to a point where he just blows up and has to get back to check on the rest of the herd in the pasture. I have tried everything in the past from getting frustrated and disciplining him, to ignoring it, to just avoiding it. Today I was in this place of acceptance for what ever would happen. It was beautiful. He started out excited and did well. About 1/3 of the way through the ride I felt his body tense, his awareness drift away from me and to his herd mates, and he started to fade away in his listening. I got off him. He kinda looked at me like "What are you doing down there?" It was awesome, he just put his head down and walked off with me. I think it brought his mind back to me and questioned what I was doing. He was a rockstar! I walked with him until he came back to me and his awareness was back in his body and listening to my aids and then I got back on. He walked on a loose rein, relaxed for the majority of the rest of the ride. It was brilliant. By being in a place of acceptance for what ever happened with him and not trying to force a ride, we had a lovely ride. He trusted that I would honor his emotional state and felt confident in my actions to guide him. I was completely absorbed in the moment with him and nothing else mattered except for accepting who he was and where he was in this moment. We both communicated with each other so well I would call it a dance.
As today's lessons were about acceptance I would also like to share my experience from last night. It is who I am and is very much a part of me that to not share it would almost feel like I am denying that part of me. I accept this is who I am and am willing to share it. I woke last night parched. It was 3:20am and I went to the kitchen for water. Upon arriving in the kitchen I was greeted by Kato, he is a spirit guide of mine, a black bear. He comes to me when I need him and usually not when I am expecting. We talked of my frustrations at unfairness and death, he told me that it is with humility and kindness he allows each situation it's own experience. I remembered that I was having a hard time in Tai Chi with a warm up practice called The Bear. I asked Kato if he could show me any insights for this practice. It was brilliant. So there in the kitchen I did the The Bear with my bear Kato. It was soo cool! I had a new found sense of how the motion is supposed to flow after working with him. Again, it was so cool! I was so happy and thankful for our visit last night.
It is with acceptance of this part of me that I shared that story. I am trying to hold no expectations for my encounters with spirits or my guides. I welcome their insight in my life. We all have teachers patiently waiting to be heard and ever ready to lend a hand when asked for. Thank you to all my teachers for all the lessons you have shared with me.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Gratefulness- Day 3
Last night I rode a horse that needs a home. He is a diamond in the rough right now but he has serious potential. I actually rode this horse for a friend that is looking for a new addition to her herd. I, however, couldn't shake that I really liked this little fellow. I went to the barn this morning and fed my horses with a little too much on my mind. I decided to sit down with them and be open to their messages.
Every single one of my horses gave me something. Jack is my solid grounding rock, Diva is my effervescent soulful wild child, Zoe is my stoic leader, and Lady is my everything, she is my 'in the now' girl. How could I ask for anything more? Together they help me stay connected in the moment, find joy in everything, lighten up, and find relaxation. I would dare to say I am one of the luckiest horse women I know. I am blessed with these beautiful beings in my life that have truly transformed who I am and created such beauty in my life.
Adding another horse to this mix...well, it is a tall order. He would have a lot to live up to. And frankly, I am sure there are no voids to fill that my fabulous foursome can't take care of for me. My horse's reassured me today that I am exactly where I need to be and sometimes it is ok to question our journey. But we must always be open to the possibility of our journey taking us on an unexpected course. I called into question the completeness of my herd and I was answered with a resounding "Yes, we are complete in this moment."
I was filled with gratefullness this morning when I woke up. I was grateful for my home, my husband, my dogs, my cat, my bird, and my horses. They are all my family-two legged, feathered, and four legged. We are perfect as we are and I am blessed with such wonderful beings in my life to guide me along the way. I don't know that I have ever experienced this kind of gratefulness and for that I am grateful!
Every single one of my horses gave me something. Jack is my solid grounding rock, Diva is my effervescent soulful wild child, Zoe is my stoic leader, and Lady is my everything, she is my 'in the now' girl. How could I ask for anything more? Together they help me stay connected in the moment, find joy in everything, lighten up, and find relaxation. I would dare to say I am one of the luckiest horse women I know. I am blessed with these beautiful beings in my life that have truly transformed who I am and created such beauty in my life.
Adding another horse to this mix...well, it is a tall order. He would have a lot to live up to. And frankly, I am sure there are no voids to fill that my fabulous foursome can't take care of for me. My horse's reassured me today that I am exactly where I need to be and sometimes it is ok to question our journey. But we must always be open to the possibility of our journey taking us on an unexpected course. I called into question the completeness of my herd and I was answered with a resounding "Yes, we are complete in this moment."
I was filled with gratefullness this morning when I woke up. I was grateful for my home, my husband, my dogs, my cat, my bird, and my horses. They are all my family-two legged, feathered, and four legged. We are perfect as we are and I am blessed with such wonderful beings in my life to guide me along the way. I don't know that I have ever experienced this kind of gratefulness and for that I am grateful!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Watcher- Day 2
Today is day two of the Equi-Heart pledge. On my drive to the barn I found myself wondering what I might discover today. As I crossed the Fox River, only a few blocks from my home, I look out up river...and I am blessed with the presence of the Bald Eagle. They are nesting here in town and few people have seen them this winter. I however have been blessed with their presence about 5 times now. Each time I visit with them I am in awe of their beauty, power, grace, and magnificent being. I knew then that today was about being the watcher and seeing the bigger picture in life. I also become aware of how relaxed I am today. The tension in my shoulders and neck seems to have melted away. The muscles in my face and jaw are soft and supple. There are no worries and nothing to do execpt be here and now.
The horses are still in the lean-to sleepily looking at me as I pull in. They begin their morning stretches and wake up more fully at the idea of food coming. I wake up every morning and look forward to my quiet time with the horses as they munch contentedly on their breakfast and I pick up poop. Glorious I know but it is my time to just be with them and care for them. I have had brilliant moments of clarity while picking up poop, it is like a moving meditation for me. Sometimes they follow me around, sometimes they sniff the poop in the wheel barrow, and sometimes they just eat. We all are just together for this time. Today I noticed how easy it was to lift the pitch fork. My shoulders relaxed, at ease and without worry.
This morning I began my day with Tai Chi. It was one of the more liberating practice sessions I have had. It was in all my glory in front of the mirror. Recently, I have had my awareness shift to the tension in my shoulders and how it radiates in my body. I have been blessed with this insight following the formation of a new friendship. It is through this friendship that I see myself in a different light. I want to teach and share my passion with the world and to do that I need to have faith and trust in myself. I need to be comfortable in my own skin and confident about I am. He is helping me with this and has no idea how profoundly he has impacted my life in such a short time. He possess the qualities that I struggle with myself and through spending time with him and I am starting to emanate those qualities as well. I am letting go of expectations that I have about what others expect of me. I am letting of trying to be perfect but rather be perfect in just who I am in each moment. He intimidates me and I appreciate him for it. Every time I get nervous around him or try to do the form better I learn more about myself and the attachments I hold. And today, I am soft and relaxed. No hurries or worries. And I feel warm today. With each beat of my heart I can feel the blood course through my veins in my whole body. I feel alive and present. I am reminded frequently of his comment to me one day at Tai Chi that he saw me giggling during one of the Chi Gongs. To giggle is freedom and contentment, to be able to laugh at yourself and lighten up. Thank you Records for that reminder!
It is with this new found awareness of true softness and relaxation that I interacted with the horses today. They responded lightly to my requests and shared in this quiet relaxation. It is wonderful to enjoy the day and see the world from above as an Eagle would see it, with no judgements or attachments....just being. I am reminded that the the Eagle provides great clarity and provides a fresh look on any given situation. They remind us to be in touch with our inner child, to know when and how to speak and to seize opportunities that arise. "They bring a new powerful dimension to life and heightened resposibility for your spiritual growth- through this we can learn to move between the worlds, touch all life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative force within the world." Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.
Though not completely a day of intentional connection with the horses I was gifted by the Eagle and my friend to gain insight on myself to change the interactions with my horses and be grateful for the different vantage point in which to see my world.
The horses are still in the lean-to sleepily looking at me as I pull in. They begin their morning stretches and wake up more fully at the idea of food coming. I wake up every morning and look forward to my quiet time with the horses as they munch contentedly on their breakfast and I pick up poop. Glorious I know but it is my time to just be with them and care for them. I have had brilliant moments of clarity while picking up poop, it is like a moving meditation for me. Sometimes they follow me around, sometimes they sniff the poop in the wheel barrow, and sometimes they just eat. We all are just together for this time. Today I noticed how easy it was to lift the pitch fork. My shoulders relaxed, at ease and without worry.
This morning I began my day with Tai Chi. It was one of the more liberating practice sessions I have had. It was in all my glory in front of the mirror. Recently, I have had my awareness shift to the tension in my shoulders and how it radiates in my body. I have been blessed with this insight following the formation of a new friendship. It is through this friendship that I see myself in a different light. I want to teach and share my passion with the world and to do that I need to have faith and trust in myself. I need to be comfortable in my own skin and confident about I am. He is helping me with this and has no idea how profoundly he has impacted my life in such a short time. He possess the qualities that I struggle with myself and through spending time with him and I am starting to emanate those qualities as well. I am letting go of expectations that I have about what others expect of me. I am letting of trying to be perfect but rather be perfect in just who I am in each moment. He intimidates me and I appreciate him for it. Every time I get nervous around him or try to do the form better I learn more about myself and the attachments I hold. And today, I am soft and relaxed. No hurries or worries. And I feel warm today. With each beat of my heart I can feel the blood course through my veins in my whole body. I feel alive and present. I am reminded frequently of his comment to me one day at Tai Chi that he saw me giggling during one of the Chi Gongs. To giggle is freedom and contentment, to be able to laugh at yourself and lighten up. Thank you Records for that reminder!
It is with this new found awareness of true softness and relaxation that I interacted with the horses today. They responded lightly to my requests and shared in this quiet relaxation. It is wonderful to enjoy the day and see the world from above as an Eagle would see it, with no judgements or attachments....just being. I am reminded that the the Eagle provides great clarity and provides a fresh look on any given situation. They remind us to be in touch with our inner child, to know when and how to speak and to seize opportunities that arise. "They bring a new powerful dimension to life and heightened resposibility for your spiritual growth- through this we can learn to move between the worlds, touch all life with healing and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative force within the world." Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.
Though not completely a day of intentional connection with the horses I was gifted by the Eagle and my friend to gain insight on myself to change the interactions with my horses and be grateful for the different vantage point in which to see my world.
Equi-Heart Pledge
Technically today is Day 2 of the pledge but I haven't had a chance to write up everything that has happened in the last few days. Let me begin at the beginning.
Tuesday February 14th
I am taking a meditation class with Asia Voight. A wonderful opportunity to gain insight and clarity on meditation and the different ways to meditate. Our second class in today. This morning I woke up and decided I was going to start a morning meditation ritual for myself. This morning was insightful though at first it didn't seem to be. Every time I have tried meditating, including this morning, I get headaches and become light headed. I usually get frustrated with this experience and stop the meditation because the headaches get so uncomfortable and stya with me for about an hour or two. Today was different. I chose to sit with the headache and practice grounding and opening to the Sun instead of the Earth. It helped but didn't completely make the headache stop. Then I noticed my breathing. I felt it was good but a little forced. I ended up calling Beth to discuss my experience and gain some insight. She was brilliant, as always! She helped me to see that I am restricted in my shoulders and the relaxation and breathing were actually pulling blood away from my head, causing the headaches and light headedness. She also helped me to see the I am new to meditating and in no way do I need to follow a certain routine. I was taught to ground to the Earth and then opening through my crown to the Heavens. Though this may work well for others, it doesn't suit me. So I needed a new approach, Beth helped with that. After a struggle to meditate but an awareness of what I was experiencing and the ability to talk about it and get feedback left me wanting to try it again.
While at the barn this morning I decided to just sit with Lady. I wanted to just be with her and allow whatever messages that were out there to come to me as needed. I settled into my spot on the ground just in front of her hay pile. It was divine to sit there, hearing her chewing, smelling her fragrant breath as she munched away, and just being with her. Lady is my guiding light. She has a gentle way of providing the exact
support I need. As I felt myself expand in the universe and quiet my mind, Molly started barking at me. She is always on the go and felt something shift in me that she wasn't familiar with. It was very cool to see her feel the shift in my being and her verbalize to me that she is aware that something has changed. She eventually came and sat in my lap, enjoying the quiet breathing. I noticed Jack start to meander over to take Lady's hay pile. I spoke to him in my mind and asked him to please keep his distance and pick another pile to eat from. I let him know that there was a pile nearby that he could eat from and still be a part of what was occurring between Lady and I and still respect our space. He stopped, looked at me, and stepped away to the other pile. And as if to reinforce this silent exchance Molly jumped off my lap ran over to Jack and barked at him. It was such an amazing experience to have all this happen with unspoken words. To have such clarity of intention and to be heard was blisssful. I thanked my creatures and left.
This afternoon I went back to the barn to have a ride with one of the horses. I let me choose who would like to go with me. Jack was eager for attention. After taking our time grooming and tacking up we headed out. Today we were going to ride in the west pasture, as Jack is not always comfortable with the leaving the girls. We started out with a spring in our step looking forward to what we might find on our ride. A little ways in I notice on object on the ground. From the saddle and at a glance it looked like rebar- long, cylindrical, and striped. After dismounting I discover that what lay before us was two tail feathers of a pheasant. I felt like they were a gift to me! I have never found feathers like this before. I was elated. Jack was confused for the dismount and was wondering whether he should go back to the girls or inquire about my behavior. I showed him the feathers and remounted. Jack was happy to be moving again. We rode along the washout and up over the ridge. I happened to look down at our footing and found a whole mess of feathers. It had been a pheasant kill from a previous night. Looks like the coyotes had managed to find dinner. It was amazing that not a drop of blood, skin or anything suggesting the presence of a feast remain except the feathers. It was beautiful in a way. The circle of life. Jack knew what had happened and he was a bit uneasy in the location. I have a feeling that my herd had witnessed the chase and the kill. I can only imagine the feeling they were left with. I assured him that all was well. Jack and I proceeded to have a wonderful ride on this spring like day. I enjoyed his company immensely and due to darkness creeping in, we had to call it a day.
I went home to look up the symbolism of pheasants. The messages were of no surprise to me but sheer awe and delight. I love how the universe provides these amazing messages for us to discover. Pheasants are symbols of creativity, sexuality, passion, balance, and good judgement. And today is Valentine's Day! I love the synchronicity of life. They also teach us to be grounded in life but allow for brilliant moments of reaching for new heights.
Wednesday February 15th
I was energized when I woke up and ready to practice meditation again. This time I sat in peaceful silence with my breath. Just breathing in... and out. Allowing myself to expand in all directions to become one with the universe, to connect with my soul. The quietness I experienced was so peaceful and relaxing. Today there was no headache and no lightheadedness. I was at peace with just being. At the barn I chose to sit with Zoe. She wanted a bit more space between us, so I moved away from her. I connected from my heart with her and just sat. The clarity in which I experienced my surroundings was pure and simple. The birds chirped and tweeted in such great clarity and fluttered about. I could follow individual birds as they moved about the property. The sound of the wind in the trees was like a whisper of time passing but seemed like time stood still. The air was crisp and cool on my face. It is a sunny 38 degrees on this February morning. Very spring like. The energy is full of anticipation of spring and all its wonders. I could hear and see in my mind's eye the horses contentedly munching and meandering to the various piles of hay. They were aware of my presence and seemed to enjoy the quiet time I was spending with them. It was like I had stepped into their world of just being and experiencing my environment through all my senses. I opened my eyes to see with great clarity and sharpness, like a bird. Everything was crystal clear.
I am ever thankful for the simple moments that I share with my animals and the great peace and clarity they bring to my life.
Tuesday February 14th
I am taking a meditation class with Asia Voight. A wonderful opportunity to gain insight and clarity on meditation and the different ways to meditate. Our second class in today. This morning I woke up and decided I was going to start a morning meditation ritual for myself. This morning was insightful though at first it didn't seem to be. Every time I have tried meditating, including this morning, I get headaches and become light headed. I usually get frustrated with this experience and stop the meditation because the headaches get so uncomfortable and stya with me for about an hour or two. Today was different. I chose to sit with the headache and practice grounding and opening to the Sun instead of the Earth. It helped but didn't completely make the headache stop. Then I noticed my breathing. I felt it was good but a little forced. I ended up calling Beth to discuss my experience and gain some insight. She was brilliant, as always! She helped me to see that I am restricted in my shoulders and the relaxation and breathing were actually pulling blood away from my head, causing the headaches and light headedness. She also helped me to see the I am new to meditating and in no way do I need to follow a certain routine. I was taught to ground to the Earth and then opening through my crown to the Heavens. Though this may work well for others, it doesn't suit me. So I needed a new approach, Beth helped with that. After a struggle to meditate but an awareness of what I was experiencing and the ability to talk about it and get feedback left me wanting to try it again.
While at the barn this morning I decided to just sit with Lady. I wanted to just be with her and allow whatever messages that were out there to come to me as needed. I settled into my spot on the ground just in front of her hay pile. It was divine to sit there, hearing her chewing, smelling her fragrant breath as she munched away, and just being with her. Lady is my guiding light. She has a gentle way of providing the exact
support I need. As I felt myself expand in the universe and quiet my mind, Molly started barking at me. She is always on the go and felt something shift in me that she wasn't familiar with. It was very cool to see her feel the shift in my being and her verbalize to me that she is aware that something has changed. She eventually came and sat in my lap, enjoying the quiet breathing. I noticed Jack start to meander over to take Lady's hay pile. I spoke to him in my mind and asked him to please keep his distance and pick another pile to eat from. I let him know that there was a pile nearby that he could eat from and still be a part of what was occurring between Lady and I and still respect our space. He stopped, looked at me, and stepped away to the other pile. And as if to reinforce this silent exchance Molly jumped off my lap ran over to Jack and barked at him. It was such an amazing experience to have all this happen with unspoken words. To have such clarity of intention and to be heard was blisssful. I thanked my creatures and left.
This afternoon I went back to the barn to have a ride with one of the horses. I let me choose who would like to go with me. Jack was eager for attention. After taking our time grooming and tacking up we headed out. Today we were going to ride in the west pasture, as Jack is not always comfortable with the leaving the girls. We started out with a spring in our step looking forward to what we might find on our ride. A little ways in I notice on object on the ground. From the saddle and at a glance it looked like rebar- long, cylindrical, and striped. After dismounting I discover that what lay before us was two tail feathers of a pheasant. I felt like they were a gift to me! I have never found feathers like this before. I was elated. Jack was confused for the dismount and was wondering whether he should go back to the girls or inquire about my behavior. I showed him the feathers and remounted. Jack was happy to be moving again. We rode along the washout and up over the ridge. I happened to look down at our footing and found a whole mess of feathers. It had been a pheasant kill from a previous night. Looks like the coyotes had managed to find dinner. It was amazing that not a drop of blood, skin or anything suggesting the presence of a feast remain except the feathers. It was beautiful in a way. The circle of life. Jack knew what had happened and he was a bit uneasy in the location. I have a feeling that my herd had witnessed the chase and the kill. I can only imagine the feeling they were left with. I assured him that all was well. Jack and I proceeded to have a wonderful ride on this spring like day. I enjoyed his company immensely and due to darkness creeping in, we had to call it a day.
I went home to look up the symbolism of pheasants. The messages were of no surprise to me but sheer awe and delight. I love how the universe provides these amazing messages for us to discover. Pheasants are symbols of creativity, sexuality, passion, balance, and good judgement. And today is Valentine's Day! I love the synchronicity of life. They also teach us to be grounded in life but allow for brilliant moments of reaching for new heights.
Wednesday February 15th
I was energized when I woke up and ready to practice meditation again. This time I sat in peaceful silence with my breath. Just breathing in... and out. Allowing myself to expand in all directions to become one with the universe, to connect with my soul. The quietness I experienced was so peaceful and relaxing. Today there was no headache and no lightheadedness. I was at peace with just being. At the barn I chose to sit with Zoe. She wanted a bit more space between us, so I moved away from her. I connected from my heart with her and just sat. The clarity in which I experienced my surroundings was pure and simple. The birds chirped and tweeted in such great clarity and fluttered about. I could follow individual birds as they moved about the property. The sound of the wind in the trees was like a whisper of time passing but seemed like time stood still. The air was crisp and cool on my face. It is a sunny 38 degrees on this February morning. Very spring like. The energy is full of anticipation of spring and all its wonders. I could hear and see in my mind's eye the horses contentedly munching and meandering to the various piles of hay. They were aware of my presence and seemed to enjoy the quiet time I was spending with them. It was like I had stepped into their world of just being and experiencing my environment through all my senses. I opened my eyes to see with great clarity and sharpness, like a bird. Everything was crystal clear.
I am ever thankful for the simple moments that I share with my animals and the great peace and clarity they bring to my life.
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