What does that mean? To just be. Today as I went through my daily chores with the horses I found myself completely immersed in the moment. There was no big message for the day but when I realized that I may not have something to write about it occurred to me that there was plenty to write about in 'just being'.
Just being not doing is what the horses are all about. They just be what they are in every moment. They don't worry about getting things done, they don't stress the small stuff. They just eat their hay, then get a drink, maybe a quick, poop then back to hay..ooo 'mom' came to take me for a walk today. They don't worry about what may happen or try to plan their day. They just roll with the flow as each moment passes and live in each one of those moments. They try to make the most logical choice in each moment that allows them the best possible outcome.
How often do we get caught up in the 'to do' list? How often are we working on the 'to do' list and still wondering about other things that need to get done? How many of us will drive for awhile only to realize that they don't remember driving through an area? Classic example of our brains doing multiple things at once and not just being in each moment. When I work with the horses, I don't fear for getting stepped on, kicked, or bitten. I simply stay present in each moment and make choices either consciously or subconsciously that will keep me and the horse safe. Chances are if I worried about getting stepped on I would probably get stepped on. Instead, I just be in each moment and in this present minded awareness I am generally able to stay safe. Accidents can and do happen every day. We can't always control that but we can control how we deal with the experience. We can choose to be in the moment and see the bigger picture, maybe find peace or forgiveness for the situation, instead of being filled with anger or blame or pity.
Just being is such a freeing experience. We are able to take all things in at once, without thought, and just allow each experience to unfold as it may. All the choices will become clear to us when it is necessary for us to make a choice. Don't worry about whether you might have a bad ride. Prepare in each moment as necessary and when the time comes make the choices that will have the best possible outcome. Worrying about a bad ride will only send negative thoughts out and your worry will upset your horse. Relax, trust each moment. If you do have a less than desirable ride, it is OK. Don't blame the horse, don't get upset. Just allow yourself to see the big picture and see how you may have influenced it. Maybe there was a brilliant lesson to learn in that ride. Chances are if you had been in the moment, by just being, you would have had more information in order to have made different choices that would have led to a better ride. Let me share a couple quick stories.
Jack is a challenging one on occasion to ride away from the farm. He gets concerned quickly and gets overwhelmed. I have learned to listen from the moment I get him from the pasture to ride. I don't worry about the ride ( I generally know what to expect). I stay in each moment with Jack, allowing him to realize that I am fully here in each moment to support his needs. The moment I begin to wonder about the potential ride, he gets concerned. So I come right back to the present moment and just be with him. We calmly and mindfully go through the process of putting on tack. Some times I walk him out to the field to mount, other times I mount by the barn. What ever is best in each moment is what I do for him. During the ride I can feel his anxiety start to escalate. Instead of trying to force him to calm down. I simply get off. He looks at me as if he realizes that I heard him and relaxes when he knows I am here to support him and help him to feel safe. I usually re-mount and the ride is much smoother. If I were too busy worrying about what might happen or trying to force focus he would most likely blow up and leave me in the dirt.
Another example is Molly. Our ever vigilant, hyper-sensitive dog who goes over the top easily. When people come to the house, it is easy to get sucked into the trap of welcoming a guest apologizing for the dog and trying to get the dog to 'just calm down'. We get nervous or frustrated or embarrassed. This typically escalates the problem. What we do is welcome the guest, tell them we will be with them in a moment and make themselves comfortable. The whole time we are aware of Molly's needs and rewarding the correct behavior with treats and praise. We ask Molly to do a few simple things to bring her focus back to us and realize that she is safe and can relax. Again, we reward each try with treats and praise. Before long she has relaxed and is OK with a visitor. There is no more apologizing because we have been able to redirect her energy and our guests are informed that her needs come first. There is no frustration or embarrassment because we are tending to the need of the moment, which is Molly. When we start over thinking and worrying about the guest and forgetting about the dog, that is the more pressing matter here, we are not being fully present in the moment. The choices we can make in each moment will change the outcome for a more desired result.
To be able to just be is liberating. We don't judge, criticize, worry, fear, develop anxiety or nervousness. We just are and when we just are we are able to see the big picture and make clear, informed choices. Happiness abounds in each moment that we are able to just be.
Wow and I as worried that I wasn't sure I had anything to write. That is what is brilliant about letting go and being in each moment. I was able to just write and the words just flowed through me effortlessly. Super cool!
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