Technically today is Day 2 of the pledge but I haven't had a chance to write up everything that has happened in the last few days. Let me begin at the beginning.
Tuesday February 14th
I am taking a meditation class with Asia Voight. A wonderful opportunity to gain insight and clarity on meditation and the different ways to meditate. Our second class in today. This morning I woke up and decided I was going to start a morning meditation ritual for myself. This morning was insightful though at first it didn't seem to be. Every time I have tried meditating, including this morning, I get headaches and become light headed. I usually get frustrated with this experience and stop the meditation because the headaches get so uncomfortable and stya with me for about an hour or two. Today was different. I chose to sit with the headache and practice grounding and opening to the Sun instead of the Earth. It helped but didn't completely make the headache stop. Then I noticed my breathing. I felt it was good but a little forced. I ended up calling Beth to discuss my experience and gain some insight. She was brilliant, as always! She helped me to see that I am restricted in my shoulders and the relaxation and breathing were actually pulling blood away from my head, causing the headaches and light headedness. She also helped me to see the I am new to meditating and in no way do I need to follow a certain routine. I was taught to ground to the Earth and then opening through my crown to the Heavens. Though this may work well for others, it doesn't suit me. So I needed a new approach, Beth helped with that. After a struggle to meditate but an awareness of what I was experiencing and the ability to talk about it and get feedback left me wanting to try it again.
While at the barn this morning I decided to just sit with Lady. I wanted to just be with her and allow whatever messages that were out there to come to me as needed. I settled into my spot on the ground just in front of her hay pile. It was divine to sit there, hearing her chewing, smelling her fragrant breath as she munched away, and just being with her. Lady is my guiding light. She has a gentle way of providing the exact
support I need. As I felt myself expand in the universe and quiet my mind, Molly started barking at me. She is always on the go and felt something shift in me that she wasn't familiar with. It was very cool to see her feel the shift in my being and her verbalize to me that she is aware that something has changed. She eventually came and sat in my lap, enjoying the quiet breathing. I noticed Jack start to meander over to take Lady's hay pile. I spoke to him in my mind and asked him to please keep his distance and pick another pile to eat from. I let him know that there was a pile nearby that he could eat from and still be a part of what was occurring between Lady and I and still respect our space. He stopped, looked at me, and stepped away to the other pile. And as if to reinforce this silent exchance Molly jumped off my lap ran over to Jack and barked at him. It was such an amazing experience to have all this happen with unspoken words. To have such clarity of intention and to be heard was blisssful. I thanked my creatures and left.
This afternoon I went back to the barn to have a ride with one of the horses. I let me choose who would like to go with me. Jack was eager for attention. After taking our time grooming and tacking up we headed out. Today we were going to ride in the west pasture, as Jack is not always comfortable with the leaving the girls. We started out with a spring in our step looking forward to what we might find on our ride. A little ways in I notice on object on the ground. From the saddle and at a glance it looked like rebar- long, cylindrical, and striped. After dismounting I discover that what lay before us was two tail feathers of a pheasant. I felt like they were a gift to me! I have never found feathers like this before. I was elated. Jack was confused for the dismount and was wondering whether he should go back to the girls or inquire about my behavior. I showed him the feathers and remounted. Jack was happy to be moving again. We rode along the washout and up over the ridge. I happened to look down at our footing and found a whole mess of feathers. It had been a pheasant kill from a previous night. Looks like the coyotes had managed to find dinner. It was amazing that not a drop of blood, skin or anything suggesting the presence of a feast remain except the feathers. It was beautiful in a way. The circle of life. Jack knew what had happened and he was a bit uneasy in the location. I have a feeling that my herd had witnessed the chase and the kill. I can only imagine the feeling they were left with. I assured him that all was well. Jack and I proceeded to have a wonderful ride on this spring like day. I enjoyed his company immensely and due to darkness creeping in, we had to call it a day.
I went home to look up the symbolism of pheasants. The messages were of no surprise to me but sheer awe and delight. I love how the universe provides these amazing messages for us to discover. Pheasants are symbols of creativity, sexuality, passion, balance, and good judgement. And today is Valentine's Day! I love the synchronicity of life. They also teach us to be grounded in life but allow for brilliant moments of reaching for new heights.
Wednesday February 15th
I was energized when I woke up and ready to practice meditation again. This time I sat in peaceful silence with my breath. Just breathing in... and out. Allowing myself to expand in all directions to become one with the universe, to connect with my soul. The quietness I experienced was so peaceful and relaxing. Today there was no headache and no lightheadedness. I was at peace with just being. At the barn I chose to sit with Zoe. She wanted a bit more space between us, so I moved away from her. I connected from my heart with her and just sat. The clarity in which I experienced my surroundings was pure and simple. The birds chirped and tweeted in such great clarity and fluttered about. I could follow individual birds as they moved about the property. The sound of the wind in the trees was like a whisper of time passing but seemed like time stood still. The air was crisp and cool on my face. It is a sunny 38 degrees on this February morning. Very spring like. The energy is full of anticipation of spring and all its wonders. I could hear and see in my mind's eye the horses contentedly munching and meandering to the various piles of hay. They were aware of my presence and seemed to enjoy the quiet time I was spending with them. It was like I had stepped into their world of just being and experiencing my environment through all my senses. I opened my eyes to see with great clarity and sharpness, like a bird. Everything was crystal clear.
I am ever thankful for the simple moments that I share with my animals and the great peace and clarity they bring to my life.
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