Seems like a whirlwind of a time but yet it is moving slowly. So much has happened in just two short weeks. I had some interesting revelations in my last blog and since then so much has unfurled for me.
I spent a week consumed by everything hoof related. Tools, anatomy, lectures, brilliant professionals sharing their craft, shoes- composite, aluminum, copper alloy, steel to name a few, roundtable of info sharing, specific classrooms. My brain is reeling from all the intake. Not to mention after the nearly 12 hour days of learning there was networking at dinner and the bar. I may have stayed up a wee bit past my usually bedtime to have some really great conversations with people from all over the country.
I went into this week so aware of who I was and felt really exposed. It was a bit nerve wracking for me the first day or so (a cocktail or two may have helped the nerves). I slowly eased into conversations, found great strength from several amazing women and found my stride. Once that happened I was so at peace with who I was as a person and all the lessons I was learning. I found out what I want to feel in my life. I want to feel exhilarating, brilliant, sexy, professional, and connected, nourished, creative, and inspired.
I discovered the beginnings of how to embody the warrior in me and move with grace and ease. I realized how much I hold back in my everyday life for one ridiculous reason or another. That stopped last week. I am putting it all out there, as best I can. I am shedding the layers of fear, doubt, worry and having fun with life. I am feeling the way I want to feel and man does it feel GOOD!!
Nope, it isn't all blissful all the time. But the more I work on me and work towards what I want to feel in my life the easier all the dark stuff gets. It doesn't come up as often, it doesn't persist as long and moves through more easily. I am able to step back and 'see' the bigger picture and recognize the steps I can take and consciously take those steps back to where I want to feel. Which is to feel good!
I learned that getting off track is natural and essential to my growth. I learned that my feelings may look destructive, negative, or inappropriate but in my reality they are my expressions of something incredibly hopeful coming deep from within me. (I wish I could take credit for this paragraph but some of it comes from Danielle Laporte's Desire Map, but used my own words a bit too).
I leave you with this-
A really mature person cannot be serious, there is nothing to be serious about. The whole of life is fun, it is a play, a play of consciousness. And that's what meditation reveals to you- that the whole of life is a beautiful play of energy. ~Osho
