To listen

I sit here today in reflection over the series of events in the last week. I was supposed to drive to Hayward on Thursday to participate in another Epona experience with Juli Lynch. All week I was questioning why I was going? Did I want to go? Thursday morning I felt great and was ready to go. I had a couple of horses to trim for my dearest friend Beth. After beginning to work with her horses I started to feel physically weak and exhausted. I usually trim Boude by myself with little problems but today she came in the barn and things got a little trying. I asked her to go back in the house and Boude and I finished with much more ease.

This caused reflection for Beth and I. Why did Boude behave like this? He understands how to pick up his hooves and hold them. He knows how to balance. Beth and I know how to work with horses, so what was the bigger picture? We came to an understanding that in order for this to work harmoniously, Beth and I must be on the same energetic wave length, so to speak. We need to help Boude understand that he can work with me just as well as when Beth is present. After a dream last night ( I will share in a moment), I have a different understanding of this experience. If Boude was doing well, why fight with it just to have the owner there? Why not just go with the flow and stop resisting? Beth and I also were able to have a clear picture of my role as practitioner and her role as owner and how we can best support a horse that is receiving hoof care.

After leaving her farm, I was torn between going to Hayward and staying home. I was packed and ready to go, so I went. I went with the understanding that if I wanted to turn around at any point I could. After I reached Madison, Juli called me. We spoke of my need to stay home. I immediately felt better when the decision to stay home was made. I figured I had drove this far (by now I was almost to Baraboo) I would stop at Devil's Lake.

At Devil's Lake I took a short walk, found a big boulder to sit on, and started journeling. It was a great experience and I had some interesting insights from a chipmunk. The little fellow stayed nearby the entire time I was there. I got lost in time and before I knew it I had been there an hour. I had been entranced by the forest and all her glory. As I left the park, I passed a prairie. As I looked out over the prairie I saw thousands of glittering, gliding Dragonflies. Blue, gold, purple, and red bodies flying and floating in silence over the prairie. I parked and followed a path down into the prairie. I was just enveloped in the beauty and silence of this magical experience. The path took me down into the prairie as the grasses were taller than I. There was nothing but me and Dragonflies in their silent dance. There are not enough words to describe how inspiring, beautiful and amazing this experience was.

Since arriving home I have felt emotionally unstable and very sensitive to energy shifts. I became aware of the upcoming affects of Hurricane Irene. My sister and her family are 20 min from the coast in North Carolina. I knew they had evacuated but I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of the panic and loss the people will feel on the East Coast. It was like I was feeling all the panic, worry, fear, and loss they were to feel. After speaking with my ever guiding light (you know who you are:) she helped me to realize that there is a lot of panic, worry, and loss already happening and that my feelings don't need to add to it. Instead to be a beacon of love, light, and thankfulness for a seemingly dark situation.

My perspective on this rapidly evolving world is one of love and light. I know that it appears the world is falling apart with war, terrorism, hurricanes, earthquakes, drought, and damaging floods but I feel we are 'falling' away from the energy that is not loving or supportive for the Earth any longer. My reflection on the current hurricane is this. I see wind being an active aspect air and it being the breath of life. It represents the Spirit and therefore is what holds us all together. As noted by Fernando Ortiz in El Huracan, a hurricane is a cosmic synergy as it contains three elements within it. The Fire as light-rays. The Air as wind and the Water as rain. These three together disturbs the Earth. This appears to me as a symbol of new growth and community.

Today I got up and felt immediately ill. I have been nauseous all day. I am hungry but food, even water makes me feel ill. I had all sorts of plans for today but instead I am staying home and taking care of my body. 

The dream I had: I was taking part in a clinic and we had walked the horses a fairly long distance away from the barn. I was working with a black spirited horse, reminded me of a thoroughbred. We were to mount the horses and ride back to the barn. As soon as I got on my horse, who had an english saddle, I immediately was scared of falling off. My horse picked up speed, I fought with him to stay at a walk, I began to lose my balance was falling to the right side. It was in a blink and I had decided to just go with the horse. I was able to pull my body back up onto the horse and we rode together all the way back. I grasped at his mane and allowed him to go forward at his choice of speed. I passed everyone who had been in the clinic. We came to a rode crossing and I was passing by another horse and rider. I looked back to see who it was and here was Juli's brightly shining and smiling face. I asked my horse to slow down for the road crossing. We waited for Juli and walked the rest of the way home.

I have reflected on this dream most of the day and want to share this. Sometimes when we try to control and force a situation instead of going with the flow we end up falling off the horse. We all need guides and teachers and they help us to go with the flow even if we are unsure of the end result. We need to listen to the messages we receive and follow them. I am sure glad I did. Had I have pushed through to Juli's I would not have had the experience at Devil's Lake, experienced panic and loss and then found light in the situation, and I wouldn't be sitting here writing this. I  know that the weekend at Juli's was wonderful and inspiring but there was not where I was supposed to be. I am thankful that I was able to honor my voice and do what felt right for me. I am ever thankful for the teachers, Earthly and Spiritual, that are supporting me in honoring myself and listening to the messages.