I have been out of town for a few days with no computer handy to write daily. It is actually refreshing to not have access to electronics for the couple days I was gone. It was a jam packed couple days. Shawn came with me and made the 6ish hour drive not so lonely. Lots of horses got trimmed and Shawn went cross country skiing.
Hunger-
What is hunger? Hunger tells us we need to eat food to survive. Without food to nourish our physical body we can't survive. Our cells need the nourishment from nature to continue to function and thrive.
Hunger also compels us to move forward in life. Hunger is what is needed to make a change, a choice, and to put one foot in front of the other. We hunger for life. We hunger for love, for fulfillment. Hunger drives us to learn more about ourselves. It is the push we need to take our first steps. We hunger for mobility. Hunger encourages us to speak our first words. We want to communicate with others.
Hunger is what helps us to make friends because we yearn to be social, feel acceptance, and feel like we belong. Hunger pushes us out the door when we the time comes to move away from Mom and Dad. We want Independence and our own identity.
We hunger for that soul-filling relationship with horses. We are driven on a search for true partnership with our horses. Horses help shape our hungers in life. They allow our hunger to shape who we are without judgement. We can learn more about our true hungers in life by reflecting on what the horses' hunger for.
Horses hunger for survival, individuality, relationship, and cooperation as a herd. They live for each other so that they each can survive and live fully to their own potential within the herd.
It is through our relationships with horses that we can hunger for true things in life. Hunger is not filled by jealousy, envy, spite, competition, anger, or self-righteousness.
We are only satiated when we feed our soul's hunger and live our purpose in each moment.
Learning-
There are times we are consciously aware of what we are learning and there are so many for occasions where we are subconsciously learning. As I went through the horses I trimmed today I began to feel and realize that they were teaching me and I wasn't aware of it in the moment.
Feather is a brilliant healer for those that need her and for herself. She can take care of herself and needs no pity from anyone. She is one tough chick. She has one of the worst coffin bone rotations I have worked with to date. Yet she is feisty and gallops through the snow. She has shown me what it means to not succumb to a 'dis-ease' and rise above the seemingly impossible. She is healing and will continue to improve. I couldn't ask for a better teacher to help guide me through her trimming. She is so brave and strong- it is those qualities that I needed to make that first nip through the toe to bring her break over back. It is scary! I fear the worst. I know that Feather trusts me and supports my ability to help her heal. After her trim she was sooo much more comfortable. She marched right off without her boots and was ready to do play in the snow and find whatever tid bits of hay she could. Moments like that make me want to cry in relief and in joy. I am so thankful for her wisdom and support so that I can do my very best for her.
Ike used to scare the hell out of me. He made me nervous and unsure. He has taught me very quickly to set healthy boundaries with him and others. He has shown me time and time again how to relax and connect with him to keep him safe and comfortable. His past has led him to be a bit unpredictable due to chronic pain. For me, unpredictability scares me. I like control and to know how everything is going to play out. Ike shows me every time I work with him that there is no control and I don't need to know how everything is going to work. He has never once hurt me or put me in a position to feel unsafe. Amazing. He shows me what he needs to feel comfortable and supported. When I can support him he willingly supports me and keeps me safe. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this to think how far our relationship has come. There have been trims that have been incomplete or he has not trimmed at all but each and every time it has been a profound learning experience for me, him, and his owner. He has taught me to let go of the attachment to HAVE TO get him trimmed every time I am there. It is far more important for me to nurture the relationship that we have so we can have a safe, healing, and comfortable place for trimming to occur. I love Ike, he is my bud and teacher.
I could go on all day about everything this group of horses has taught me. It is wonderful to be able to feel safe, support, loved, and appreciated by these horses and their owner. Every visit is subtly profound. It is in environments like this that I can truly give everything I have back to the horse and interact with them in a way that is healing, supportive, and loving for them. I couldn't be more thankful for the learning opportunities that I am consciously aware of and the more subconscious ones that I become aware of later in reflection.
Awareness-
These last few days I became more aware of changes to belief system. I am aware that my needs in life have shifted. I have slowed down. I am more meaningful in my actions and words. I am aware that I still doubt my abilities. I am aware that I am imperfectly perfect. This is my journey and it will always be filled with learning and growth. On my journey I am blessed with wonderful teachers and guides from this physical life and beyond. They all are there exactly when I need them and always provide messages for me exactly when they need to be heard. Sometimes it isn't until I reflect on all the changes I have been through that I realize how far I have come, how far I have to go, and how it is perfect right where I am. I realize I don't need to be so hard on myself and that I am my most harsh critic but sometimes this is what drives me to learn more and be my best in what I am.
Hope-
It is with frustration that this is written but in hope that things do change. I know what I want and I get frustrated that I don't have it yet. I know how I want things done and I get frustrated when they are not done that way. I know how animals should be treated and I get beyond frustrated when I know they are treated poorly. It is in hope that I find peace that those people are on their own journey and they will experience what they are supposed to. I am not to judge them but find compassion for them. I hope they will one day be enlightened to their actions and want to make a change. Just as the horses are here to support me and teach me, there are plenty of animals world wide that are teaching us every day and just waiting for someone to have their own 'ah-ha' moment when they finally hear the message. Overcoming my negative thoughts will allow me to leap over those hurdles I am faced with. I will have a renewed sense of hope when I believe in my individual capabilities. I do not need to worry about anyone else's journey or what they think of mine. I only need to be on my journey. Any energy I give to someone else's journey just takes away that needed energy to support my journey.
I deserve all that energy to be focused on the compassion, love, and growth in my journey.
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